Reaching Out • •

[theodore anthony sterling]

Theo barely had the time to indulge in dates or even in nights out with friends. He had a little girl at home, one he already felt guilty for spending so much time away from. However, a man needed to work to support his family – what was left of it – and Theo knew Jenny would never have forgiven him if he had turned his back on his dreams in order to take some mundane job that would bring him no joy whatsoever. Thankfully, with Lilia still around while she was in school, and able to be there most of the time Theo needed her, he could use these years to ensure he had started a college fund for Isabella, make certain that there was a nice pocket of savings should they need anything.

He wasn’t ignoring life either. He did go out and do things that he enjoyed. He grabbed lunch with co-stars and shared drinks after performances. He just didn’t make a habit of it, nor did he think he needed to do those things. He had hobbies he could enjoy at home, a whole watchlist of shows on Netflix that he had yet to get around to. Theo knew his parents worried about him, but he was okay. Jenny’s memory would always stay with him, and there were times when all he wanted to do was cry and wish she was there. They were becoming less frequent though, and if time heals all wounds then someday Theo would just be left with a scar on his heart, one he would explain whenever anyone asked about it. He wanted Isabella to know who her mother was, to hear the stories of Jenny even though she would never have any real memories of her. Theo wasn’t going to erase his late wife from their lives, no matter what happened. However, that wasn’t the best way to start a conversation with anyone, least of all someone who he was getting dinner with.

Nell was sweet, but Theo still wasn’t used to navigating these waters after Jenny. He never knew when the best time was to bring up the details of his life, the tragedy, the struggle, the lingering grief. He wasn’t going to spoil this dinner with it though. Theo took his seat once Nell was settled and thanked the waiter as he handed them their menus. He nodded when asked if they wanted water for the table, knowing that he always enjoyed a glass before a meal. “Anything catch your eye?” He asked, glancing briefly at Nell, before turning the page in his own menu, looking over the burger options. He wasn’t entirely sure what he fancied, so he was hoping something would jump out at him. He was too used to late night meals consisting of reheated leftovers that he barely had the energy to enjoy. He wasn’t sure he knew the last time he ate out somewhere this nice. Even with the cast it was usually bar food or pizzas. They all wanted comfort food over nice, pricey dishes. Plus, sometimes, if they were dining between shows, they didn’t have the time or space for a gourmet meal. It was quick, fast, and maybe there was still time for a pre-show nap before they were needed back in costume.

• • •

TAGGED! Nell Riley Mae Deveraux
WORDS! 553!
LYRICS! Moving Closer - - - Never The Stranger
NOTES! <3 <3 <3

[Nell Riley Mae Deveraux]

Nell didn't usually toss away her Theatre dates for an actor in the play. This was, in fact, the first time it had ever happened and it probably wouldn't have this time either except she'd recognised the lead and Jensen had gotten that phone call. She'd known it was work-related because those were the only ones he answered when they were out for their friendly date night. He was a doctor and usually the one they turned to when they needed psychiatric evaluations. Nell normally had to call Waverly in because she was the kid's specialist but she wasn't always in the juvenile ward when she picked up extra shifts at the hospital. She had worked in the emergency department once or twice and knew that sometimes whoever was on call needed to call in some extra help. Jensen had answered that call more than once for Nell and that's how they'd met and became friends. He loved the theatre but didn't have anyone to go with. Nell had someone to go with but she hated it so much and made Nell feel bad for asking her to go along with her. However, if she mentioned this evening to her, she might reconsider the idea of spending a night in a dark room, watching people pretend to be someone else.

It hadn't been a bother to wait for Theo to finish up what he was doing backstage and meet him outside by the door. She knew people had rituals and things they needed to do after work to get out of the headspace they'd been in. She went home and did yoga after every shift because it calmed her down. She needed to have those few moments to remind herself that the world wasn't all bad and that there was some good in it; especially after a particularly hard shift on the paediatrics ward. She'd messaged Jensen to make sure he was alright but only got the response that it was an emergency and he was needed at the hospital. She could understand that. She'd never been called for her a serious situation like that but she had been there when Jensen had gotten a call like that before.

And now she was sitting in the restaurant with Theo and all she could think about, aside from food, is that she hoped everything was okay at the hospital. She always worried when one of the psychs were invited that something bad would happen. It had only happened once while she was on shift but it had scared her into thinking it every time there was a call. She shook her head, checking out the menu though she knew what she wanted from the pages. This was not the time to think about work. She was not on call, she was only a nurse. She was actually able to have a night out and enjoy it without fear of being called in. Or worry about what was waiting for her at home; just her best friend teasing her about liking the theatre again. "I hope you're not vegetarian because that double bacon cheeseburger looks incredible." She said with a grin. She was not a vegetarian though she did agree to eat less meat. She did her part by doing meatless three days a week. Thankfully today was not one of those days and the picture of that burger looked like it needed to be in her hands immediately.

♦ ♦ ♦

TAG; theodore anthony sterling
WORDS; 577
LYRICS; Kickin' With You --Jason Mraz
NOTES; <3

[theodore anthony sterling]

Theo was not usually the spontaneous type. He had been in the past, but that was before fatherhood came along and a whole new heap of responsibilities had fallen in his lap. There were plenty of times when he would have loved to grab drinks with the rest of the cast after a show, but he needed to get home because his babysitter had plans of her own, or had an early class, too. He also didn’t think it was fair to burden Lilia anymore than he already did. She was a great aunt, but Issy wasn’t her responsibility to carry as much as she did. He would always be grateful to his sister, but he wanted Lilia to live her life before she was shouldering her own weight of responsibilities as a doctor. It wasn’t a career he could ever do; he could barely stand being in a hospital after what had happened when he lost Jenny. The anxiety was crippling, bit at him, gnawed at his insides and didn’t let go until he was out again, safe with the knowledge he didn’t need to go back and that the people he loved were okay.

Theo had been consumed by his grief for a long time, and it had taken even longer to learn to live again, but he knew he needed to. Not just for himself, but for Issy, too. She didn’t need a dad who moped around and pitied himself. She deserved someone who could show her the love and the life Theo had always dreamt of – it would just be a little different now, and death would be something she understood sooner than most of her classmates. It didn’t need to be a bad thing, and Theo didn’t need to be the poor widower who lost his bride so soon after they had been wed. That didn’t need to be the tale that defined the rest of his life. He reminded himself of that silently as he glanced back down over the menu.

Chuckling, he shook his head. “Definitely not. If I could find a place round here that did decent haggis I’d probably live off it.” He admitted, knowing his preferred diet would likely need more than a bi-weekly bike ride to keep it balanced. Thankfully, New York was lacking in his country’s national food, and he was frequently adding more vegetables to his own diet to encourage Issy to try more of the greens that he was adding to her own plate now that she had aged out of the unappealing mush that was baby food and could actually eat hard food like the rest of civilised society. Although with the way she liked to dollop ketchup with just about everything, Theo wasn’t so sure his daughter was quite ready for the civilised part, just yet. “I think the lasagne is calling to me tonight though. Garlic bread, chips, big lump of lasagne…yeah, that’s definitely singing it’s sweet siren’s song tonight.” He closed the menu, choice made.

• • •

TAGGED! Nell Riley Mae Deveraux
WORDS! 507!
LYRICS! Moving Closer - - - Never The Stranger
NOTES! <3 <3 <3