On Fire • •

[Kai Edvard Falkenberg]

Kai didn’t exactly relax easily. He was the type of guy to take files home from work, check his e-mails when he was in bed, and put the coffee pot on when he knew there could be a break in the case at any moment. He didn’t have people waiting at home for him to be on time for dinner, or keep one side of the bed warm. He had to listen to Astrid scolding him when he worked over forty hours in a week, but even she knew that her brother wasn’t the type to change. Kai was stubborn, but selfless. He never thought of himself and his own wellbeing. He only went home exhausted because he knew his reflexes were slower when he was that tired. If they weren’t, his co-workers would find him where they left him the night before. Work – protecting others – was what he lived for, so taking time out while his body recovered was not something he found pleasant. He hated being cooped up, being nagged at by his sister to stay in bed and not play physical games with the niece he adored. He figured she was one more game of hide and seek away from “borrowing” restraints from the hospital and containing him to his bed.

Kai kept telling her that he was fine. There was some tugging at his chest when he overstretched or moved a little too quickly, but he knew it was all muscular. It passed quickly enough when it hit him and he only ever winced, sometimes massaging his hand over the spot to make it ease quicker. He knew getting shot was a risk of the life he had chosen for himself. It wasn’t a deterrent for him, even though people thought that thinking made him depressed or put him a box that a therapist could only unwrap. Kai saw it like this; If he was the one taking the bullet, then some other innocent person was spared it. He didn’t think himself Superman, but he knew that he was in good health. He took care of himself and he hoped that would in fact help whenever he was injured or sick. So far he had found nothing to say differently. Now all he wanted was to get back to that state of good health and lazing around, flicking through daytime TV was not how that would happen.

Which was why he was taking a light jog through Central Park. He wasn’t pushing himself as much as he might have done another time, but Kai was testing his body. He wanted to know what it could handle after several weeks out of his fitness routine. There was a thin sheen of sweat on his skin, but nothing else made him feel like he was working out. His heart wasn’t pounding out of his chest and the initial pull in his chest had become a dull ache, not all unlike the ache that sets in after a flu shot. He kept pounding his feet against the pavement and curved around a school outing apparently doing a nature trail. He spotted a recognisable figure in the near distance, the tattoos giving her away more than anything else about her. Kai personally only knew one person that colourful in the city, though he was aware there were plenty more like her. Still, she was the only one who had made an appearance in his life outside of the NYPD. ET was in the two man queue for one of the coffee vendors in the park. Kai slowed down his pace and came to a slow stroll by the time he reached her. She was being served then and he handed the cash across to the vendor before she could, paying for and grabbing a bottle of water for himself. This was Kai’s way of sort of apologising for how he had been the last time he had seen her. He knew he wasn’t the greatest hospital patient and that bad mood of his had dug its claws in deep for a hot second. Another thing he wasn’t good at was words. He knew what to say to victims, to the people who needed him, but when he didn’t have his badge and there wasn’t a crime, he would have preferred to be mute. In this case, all he could think of saying was, “Hey.”

• • •

TAGGED! Elliot Taylor Mercer
WORDS! 736!
LYRICS! Mirror - - - Ellie Goulding
NOTES!

[Elliot Taylor Mercer]

ET hated leaving her sweet Henley alone for any length of time but occasionally it was required for her job. While the German Shepherd was a support dog and allowed anywhere ET was, she also knew there were people that she had to work with from time to time whose fear of dogs was far greater than ET's anxiety. A job that morning had one of those particular people in it so she'd left Henley at home and worked through the job as quickly as she could, leaving her team to clean up the mess they'd left once the application was over so she could return to the apartment. ET didn't leave Henley home alone for very long or very often as she was usually welcome anywhere and everyone loved her. So when she did do it, she always brought her to the park for some playtime as soon as she picked her up again. Henley loved to be able to walk around and play with all the kids that rushed her. It was another reason why ET habitually left her vest at home and instead opted for a labeled collar. The vest was saved for whenever she had to fly somewhere and needed high visibility and lack of questions.

Elliot had, obviously, told her boss what was happening to her but he had told her not to worry about it. He'd been her boss since she'd moved to New York, he'd seen her at her best and her worst in those years so he'd been all for ET trying out an emotional support animal. Henley had become a seamless part of ET's daily life that whenever she wasn't there, sleeping under the table, she felt a little on edge. Some days it was okay, she could deal with it because she was busy but other days it manifested itself like an itch ET couldn't scratch. Today had been an itch she couldn't find kind of day though she hadn't known why. She'd been feeling really good except for that, even after they'd gotten to the park. Elliot figured it was because she didn't have enough caffeine in her system and before they made it over to the right area, she stopped for another coffee. While she waited, she mentally packed her bags for the next work trip. She'd only just gotten back three days before from one in France. Three weeks in the most beautiful country was both too much and not enough time.

However, it had been exactly what she'd needed with all the chaos going on in New York at the time. She could, on occasion, move too fast for people and not realise it until something happened that she finally caught up with the rest of the world. Usually, it was because she was stuck in her own little world and didn't realise that people just didn't know the things she did about films. It was rarely, as in never, about a man, or her feelings. She could have wild mood swings, feeling amazing for most of the time but certain times of the year, she fell pretty damn hard. It was strange since she hadn't lost anyone in the crash but her therapists all said it was a very normal part of working through trauma. Elliot thought it was bullshit but she wasn't about to say anything. Instead, she kept herself occupied with work, which always helped. She was working through the list of makeup she would need to buy when she landed- because it was the shorter list- when she reached the front of the line and asked for her usual coffee without even thinking about it. She was simultaneously reaching for her wallet as someone reached across, paying for her coffee before she could. "Hi." She said to him before remembering to thank the vendor with a smile much warmer than the one she'd used a second ago for the cop. She didn't know how to act now.

♦ ♦ ♦

TAG; Kai Edvard Falkenberg
WORDS; 665
LYRICS; Maybe --One More Girl
NOTES; <3

[Kai Edvard Falkenberg]

Kai didn’t mean to push people away. Most of the time the dedication to his job made him cold, a little impatient for most of the city. He was always vigilent, always on the lookout for something not quite right. When he was out, he was the first to step up when he saw a woman looking uncomfortable, or a guy itching to start a fight. He wasn’t trying to be chivalrous or play the hero; Kai just did it because it felt right to him. He had seen the world burn with war and hate, and he couldn’t let that happen to the city he called home. He wasn’t a cop just because he wanted a shiny badge and a gun, he was one because he needed to know that the world was a little safer; something he felt every time there was an arrest, and again when the judge handed down a hefty sentence. They could hate him all they wanted, but they wouldn’t be able to hurt someone innocent again.

And he did that for his sister, for his niece. Astrid had been through something many people don’t recover from, but she was thriving today. Apparently she kept herself going by reminding herself that her brother was constantly in situations where his entire life was in danger, and he always came home with a smile and a warmth that she’d never seen from anyone else. It was true that he was relaxed, more carefree when he was with his sister and parents. They were familiar and comfortable. Maybe serving in the military had changed him. He might not be waking from nightmares and suffering PTSD like some veterans, but he did notice the bad before the good these days. It was like his eyes were sharpened to it. Even now, even after being shot, he was still determined to see it, to stop it. Astrid hadn’t been pleased with him pushing his body to get fit again. She just wanted him to rest, to stay home. She insisted it wasn’t because she was scared after what had happened, but Kai felt differently. When he was at home nothing could happen to him; he would always be there when she finished a shift, grumbling about how he needed to get out. If he went outside for any reason…well, Astrid knew he’d be the first to tackle a robber at the corner deli if one ever struck. She was as stubborn as Kai though, so getting her to admit to that fear wasn’t going to be easy and they would keep going in circles until Kai finally returned to work and she couldn’t say anything about it.

He’d always known there was a chance he’d be hurt or shot. He had known it when he enlisted with the navy all those years ago. He already had the angry scarring across his chest from an IED blast, so a bullet hole wouldn’t be out of place across his pebble-dashed skin. Kai just needed to remember that his blasé approach to life and death didn’t expand to everyone else, and that it was normal for people to worry. Just like it was expected that his navy buddies would rib him over getting shot once they knew he was going to make a full recovery. Gallows humour was survivalist behaviour among them, Kai included. And caring, visiting, was also how people made it through the day. “I hate hospitals.” Kai started, walking backwards from the vendor. He didn’t need the coffee queue to hear this, but he wanted to be sure ET was willing to follow him to a less populated corner of the park. “I hate being still. It makes me even more of a hard-ass than I already am.” He wasn’t the greatest at apologies, especially when it was for more than a police interruption or a knock in a busy store. “I’m sorry.” He shrugged awkwardly, not knowing what else to say without simply being blunt about it. He unapologetically knew who he was, what he would be like in certain scenarios, but for those who didn’t know him that well he realised it likely came across as rude.

• • •

TAGGED! Elliot Taylor Mercer
WORDS! 706!
LYRICS! Mirror - - - Ellie Goulding
NOTES!

[Elliot Taylor Mercer]

Elliott's life had always been a little rocky. She'd always been a quirky child, never really fitting in but having a close group of friends that made her feel like the most popular girl in school. She spent what time she wasn't playing various sports, drawing and sketching in her book. When she finally found her calling in high school, she'd known it was exactly what she'd been looking for. The nightmares that followed her accident served her well in the maker department. She couldn't remember what happened to her, tried in vain to come up with even one minuscule memory but failed every single time. Her therapists always said it would take time, that her mind and body went through serious trauma and that it would take time to unlock the box that held those memories; if it ever opened. Eventually, she gave up and decided if she was ever meant to remember, she would someday. In the meantime, she would use the nightmares that kept her up some nights to keep her career moving forward.

ET wanted to tell the cop that no one liked hospitals, not even the people who worked in them actually liked them. Too many bad things happened, too many people fought for their lives and lost, too many didn't get the chance to fight. It was always someone's best day and someone's very worst day in a hospital and those that worked there were forced to bear witness to it all. Sometimes, sure, it was great. Babies were born and people pulled through a serious and terrifying surgery but still, some didn't. The only reason ET didn't say anything was solely because he looked like he had more to say and she thought if she interrupted him, he might not tell her any more. So she stayed quiet and directed Henley away from the crowd at the coffee cart. It was clear that if Kai was going to talk to her, it would be away from where people could hear him. Apparently, though ET would argue against it, he was about to share weakness and didn't want anyone to listen in.

Elliott stayed silent for a couple more seconds, taking a sip of her coffee and settling down onto a bench. She was a woman who habitually opened her mouth without actually thinking about the consequences of her words or actions. "I understand and am definitely behind you on that hatred. I get it more than you'll ever really understand." She admitted to him before taking another sip of her coffee. This was a story that was hard to tell for the brunette monster maker. She knew a simple google search would probably tell the whole journalised tale of her accident but she'd been a minor at the time, so her name hadn't been disclosed and it didn't tell her story; not that she could remember any of it. "That was a story I had been willing to tell you when I visited you." She knew her tone implied that she didn't feel that way any longer. She'd been wanting, at the time, to form a connection that went further than a few surprise meetings. ET spoke to his sister fairly regularly, thanks to the volunteering ET and her team did so she'd been kept fairly up to date on the cop's recovery.

♦ ♦ ♦

TAG; Kai Edvard Falkenberg
WORDS; 559
LYRICS; Maybe --One More Girl
NOTES; <3

[Kai Edvard Falkenberg]

Kai wasn’t used to talking about himself, or his life. He has spent years in a career glamorised on the TV for recruitment purposes, but in reality was harder than any of his team had originally imagined. No one talked about the possibility of never coming home, or the lasting scars and PTSD they might bring back with them. Kai had the scars, but he was lucky that the PTSD wasn’t anywhere near as bad as so many of the others. Hell, he wouldn’t even say he had it at all, but the shrink the NYPD made them check in with had harped on about acknowledging the nightmares, the quirks that Kai developed when he was in uncomfortable situations. She hadn’t cared so much when he said the nightmares from serving came only a handful of times a year, or the habit of touching the scars that stretched up beyond his collar was more to do with how they itched in the humidity. No, she had just seen a former naval officer, someone who had been to war, who had been in an explosion and decided that all of the normal stress indicators meant something more.

Kai hadn’t argued, because if he had he would have ended up telling her that the cases he worked now were far worse than some of the stuff he had seen overseas. He saw children ripped from their childhood, women who no longer felt safe in their own homes, and men who had lost their identities when nightmares had become real. He didn’t know if the NYPD had some statistics it needed to hit, or was telling the mental counselling team to tread on the side of caution, but they were definitely quick to toss around diagnosis and suggestions. Thankfully, the man who Kai reported to kept his own eye on his team, and he knew them a hell of a lot better than some hired quack did. He wasn’t so quick to pull the trigger when it came to benching someone, to leaving them with paperwork when the department was already stretched thin with more cases coming in before worked ones could be closed.

Still, Kai had no desire for a career change – none whatsoever. He liked putting bad people behind bars. He wanted to help people find their safety again, their trust. He wasn’t about to walk away from that just because his damaged skin itched and he had nightmares once in a blue moon like every other human on the planet. “I wasn’t willing to hear it.” Kai stated calmly, not meaning to be rude or uninterested, just merely stating the truth. “All I wanted to hear was someone telling me that I could go on home.” He was stubborn, and oftentimes a little foolish with it when he was outside of work. Kai had known that for a long time, but he usually didn’t see the damage it could cause until much later. “All I can say for that is that I’m sorry.” And all he could hope for was for ET to accept that apology.

• • •

TAGGED! Elliot Taylor Mercer
WORDS! 522!
LYRICS! Mirror - - - Ellie Goulding
NOTES!

[Elliot Taylor Mercer]

"Sometimes the things you don't want to hear and the things you need to hear the most." She pointed out, knowing that had been what she'd needed. She hadn't wanted to hear about anything when she'd finally woken up after her accident. She had wanted to know how her brother was, if he was up and around and when they could go home. She did not want to hear that he was still critical and that he might not make it, that she might lose a limb. Her leg had been severely injured in the crash. ET was stubborn and quick to prove people wrong about her. It had hurt like a bitch but she'd been determined to fight for as long as she could. If at the end of it, she had to lose her leg, then so be it, she would continue to fight, to persevere, to overcome the cards fate had dealt her. Thankfully, that stubborn nature of hers won out and she'd grown stronger over the following months that though she would feel pain more than usual in her leg, she would keep it. There had been a lot going on after that and it had taken time and steps to get there but she and her brother had turned getting better into a game with achievements to unlock at each stage. It meant that they could leave the hospital sooner than previously expected.

It made sense, then, that her brother would go into medicine. He'd been worse off than she had. He'd needed more attention and more care than she had. In comparison, she had minor things to accomplish while he was basically fighting for his life; all because he'd put his own life aside to save her. She would be forever grateful for that and show him just how much by fighting and arguing with him at every family holiday. She needed to prove that everything was alright by trying to keep some normalcy between them. ET didn't have the smarts it took to become a doctor like her brother but she did her part through volunteer work and entertaining the children of the wards. She could always help the kids turn their real-life monsters, their illnesses, into pretend ones and parade around as them to show those very monster they were not afraid. Her bosses loved the idea and would tag along when work schedules permitted it. It was a lot of fun and those kids forgot for a little while that they were in a hospital. For a few hours, they were knights and Queens, princes and princesses, they were monsters and skeletons and witches and fairies. For a little while, they were just kids.

ET rubbed Henley's head absently like she always did when she was lost in thought, trying to work something out. She often spoke without thinking and while, it was usually alright, she understood that sometimes it didn't start that way. She hadn't had the habit of speaking her mind before the accident but it had made her see that life was way too short to hold things in. She needed to say the words, even if they fell on deaf ears or were taken the wrong way. Much like Kai said, some people just didn't want to or weren't ready to hear what needed to be said. "I can forgive you for that. Just like I can understand that my usual approach to things isn't what everyone wants or likes." She said, letting go of what had happened between them while he'd been stuck in a hospital bed. She would not, however, apologise for who she was. The accident had changed her and while most of the people she'd grown up with hadn't thought it was for the better, the people who knew her afterwards liked who she was, as did she.

♦ ♦ ♦

TAG; Kai Edvard Falkenberg
WORDS; 645
LYRICS; Maybe --One More Girl
NOTES; <3

[Kai Edvard Falkenberg]

Kai wasn’t the easiest guy to get along with, but then most of the time he wasn’t trying to get along with people. His job was hunting down monsters on the streets of New York, those who terrorised and tormented the most innocent who called the city home. He had no desire to get along with them, and they didn’t want to like him either. There was nothing about his job that made him soft or approachable. Sure, he could pull it out for the victims, for those who needed a soft voice and the words that would reassure them, but Kai only had so much of that to give before the anger and the resolve burnt away at his insides with his determination to take another thug off the street and make sure they rotted behind prison bars for the rest of their life. It made for a harder personality when you lived through war and saw the darker side of humanity on a daily basis. Kai couldn’t walk away from it though, ever concerned for who would take his place if he did.

He didn’t know if he would grow old alone. It wasn’t something he dwelt on until his sister brought it up every now and then, questioning him about the spacious apartment that had few decorations beyond photos of his niece and their own family. He hadn’t planned to live the life of a quiet, solitary bachelor, but his career wasn’t a normal nine to five job, and there were nights when he grabbed a few hours on the couch in the break room before starting up again on a case he knew he was about to break wide open. It was hard to have a relationship when dates were cancelled, postponed or indefinitely put on hold, and other women were turned off when Kai told them that his job was often to chase down the men who fantasised about the sickest, darkest notions that left women clutching their keys and double checking their path home. It was not a romantic career, by any means, and Kai hardly could come home and tell tales of his day without inducing nightmares in those he cared about.

Kai was still healing, but he wasn’t willing to sit around and wait for his body to catch up. He was well enough to go back out into the world, well enough to run again and start lightly exercising. The last thing he wanted was six months of desk duties just because he had lost muscle strength and needed to build everything back up again. He was fit, and the doctors had agreed that was one of the reasons why he was recovering as well as he was – his sister also argued that it was because he was a stubborn ass. “I’m just a difficult ass.” He admitted with a soft chuckle, quoting what his sister had said many, many times over the years. And she was right. He was difficult and sometimes he didn’t even see it until it was too late to do anything about it. Sometimes it made him a good cop, but other times it meant he missed out on having a half decent life away from the badge – and right now his badge was locked in a drawer waiting for him to be medically cleared to use it again.

• • •

TAGGED! Elliot Taylor Mercer
WORDS! 565!
LYRICS! Mirror - - - Ellie Goulding
NOTES!