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Post by romeo jackson jervis on Aug 25, 2018 13:02:04 GMT -5
Romeo didn’t want to be here. He felt sick just walking down the hallway to an unfamiliar office. Having a little sister could sometimes be like having a small demon in his life. Ellie was seriously no angel, but a few years ago he would never have thought she could create such problems for him. Then again, a few years ago she hadn’t quite grown into the Jervis temper it appeared they both shared with their poor excuse of a father. His little sister had the soul of Regan from The Exorcist and treated far too many people like they were the priests trying to help her. Unfortunately, most of the time Romeo had to agree that they deserved her wrath. New York wasn’t exactly bursting with do-gooders and people with selfless intentions. He had met plenty who set out with thoughts of the opposite in their minds. On one hand it reassured him after she moved to college and began living more independently in the city, however Ellie was also prone to trouble with her opinionated mind. She was going to turn him grey.
This latest stunt of Ellie’s had made him sick. Standing up for Romeo was one thing, but destruction of property was a line he didn’t need the petite brunette to cross. Their family had enough experience with law enforcement to know that being on the wrong side of it was never fun. Ellie was already toeing that line as she found herself and challenged a world she didn’t agree with. Romeo was proud of her for fighting for much needed changes, but his life didn’t always need her influence; at least not when it came to an ex-fiancée. He didn’t want to have to approach Zoe. As far as he was concerned he had said all that had to be said. Now though, he had to apologise for Ellie’s behaviour and fix the mess she had caused. Ellie had insisted she was just trying to be helpful and get rid of the unwanted blonde, but her help was sometimes like mopping with muddy water; it made things worse.
He had tried walking down the hallway three times already, and each time he had turned back, thinking just how bad an idea this was. He should make Ellie come and do this, but Romeo knew that nothing good could come from that. She’d run her mouth off and only make everything a million times worse than it already was. Damage control was not an area of expertise of his baby sister. She might change the world, but Romeo worried about how many bodies she’d take with her. Finally, his feet brought him reluctantly to the door he never wanted to be in front of. Romeo felt the bile in the back of his throat, the taste of tobacco from his last cigarette rising with it. He took a deep breath and brought his fist down on the door three times in quick succession. His mind was suddenly flooded with old memories of playing knock-a-door-run as a child. He wanted to run away right now, even though it was far too late for that.
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TAGGED! Zoe Diana Tylers WORDS! 523! LYRICS! Almost Forgot - - - Against The Current NOTES! <3 <3 <3
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Post by Zoe Diana Tylers on Dec 20, 2018 23:43:14 GMT -5
Freedom was a very interesting concept to Zoe. Maybe it was because she’d always had such a tight grip on the reins of her life, heading down a pre-determined trail that wasn’t supposed to have any surprises along the way, but being free had never been something she explored too deeply before. Escaping Adams had made her a rebel by small-town standards, yet even then she had already established decisions for herself about where her life was heading. She had always had such a clear plan before everything had been completely derailed. Even two years ago, she never would have pictured herself sitting on the other side of the professor’s desk, teaching classes at the college she had once wished to escape so badly. She would have never chosen this life for herself.
For being an animal doctor, Zoe had always loved people. It was why she thrived as a waitress; smiling and helping others was in her very nature, even if it was getting burgers and milkshakes for families. It was probably due to being brought up in a large family, constantly surrounded by siblings or cousins or neighborhood friends, but she truly loved being in the middle of a crowd. Now, as she skipped from town to town, that circle had quickly diminished to nothing. Most of her interactions were with distraught clients and hurting animals; they weren’t anything beyond acquaintances. Even Tessie, the adored companion who had been by her side through all of her New York adventures, was back in Adams being spoiled rotten as the only house cat on her parents’ ranch. Zoe was completely and utterly alone for the first time in her entire life, and she didn’t know how much longer she could take it.
She had come back to New York to find that piece of herself again, the part that had friends and could go out at night in a group rather than occupying a single bar stool for hours. Instead, Zoe sat on a chair in the middle of an office that looked as broken as she felt on the inside. Papers were strewn, her heels were kicked off on the ground beside her desk, and her laptop sat in a shattered puzzle reflective of the state of her real life. This was where she, Dr. Zoraline Diana Tylers, had found herself and she had no idea how she was going to escape now. She knew she should try to fix things with Ellie; every part of her had told her to race after the girl, but the adult half of her heart understood that no matter what she said, the words would fall of deaf ears. Zoe should’ve said all of them before she left last year; she should’ve, but she hadn’t and now the opportunity was gone.
Instead of grading papers like she had had every intention of doing, Zoe unlocked the bottom drawer of her file cabinet and revealed the gift one of her old professors had dropped off when he’d heard she was back as a guest lecturer. It was an old scotch, something he had said every good vet needed to keep in their office no matter where it was, along with two crystal tumblers that she hadn’t dared to use yet. However, this was one opportunity she wasn’t going to let slip away.
Zoe poured herself a decent glass, setting the bottle on her desk and leaning back in her chair just as a knock came at her door. With an irritated sigh, she quickly tossed back her glass and let the liquid warm her throat as it passed down. "Come in, then,” she called, shoving the bottle back into her drawer and leaving the tell-tale glass sitting on top of her ruined computer as she waited to see who dared to intrude the inevitable unraveling of her life.
• • • TAG: romeo jackson jervis WORDS: 646! LOCATION: Her Office, NYU LYRICS: Let’s Hurt Tonight by OneRepublic NOTES: <3 <3 <3
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Post by romeo jackson jervis on Feb 8, 2019 15:03:32 GMT -5
Romeo had been jaded by life from a very young age. He had seen his parents fight all too often, and then the decline of his mother’s mental health. He had tried to protect his little sister from it, but she knew all of the reasons why Romeo was her legal guardian. It wasn’t a story that could be told with roses and sunshine. In fact, it was so far from that. They had never been siblings who wore rose tinted glasses. They had seen the darkness when they were both too young to understand it. Romeo thought he had come out of that okay; he wasn’t permanently angry nor did he hate the world. He had done his best to keep the goodness for Ellie, to show her and guide her to a life better than the one they had come from. She was well on the way to that, but he wondered if the Jervis temper would help or hinder her in the long run. He was hoping for the former. He had no doubt that she could do remarkable things if she just harnessed it in the right way, and didn’t start throwing objects at people when she lost her cool.
She was old enough to make her own decisions now though. And legally Romeo wasn’t responsible for her anymore. That didn’t mean he was going to leave her to fight the world’s battles alone. He was still her big brother, and he would always be there for her, no matter what else happened. Right now, she was the only woman in his life who he’d immediately drop everything for and race to help. There was no one else. He struggled to trust the people who tried to make their way into his life. It was like everything he did came with a side of caution now. Romeo didn’t want to get hurt again. He had spent the last several months focusing on getting his life back to a place it had been a long time ago; one where his dream of teaching was all he focused on outside of family life. His family wasn’t a nightly thought anymore, since he saw Ellie twice a week for dinner at best. Obviously with both of them in school it was hard to always schedule a catch up. Plus, he wanted Ellie to enjoy her college years, to go out and make new friends and discover who she wanted to be. She seemed convinced she had all the answers already, but Romeo knew there was always time for that to change, for her to morph into someone else. Still, she had adapted quickly to NYU, and it just showed him how strong she was once she flew the nest and took on the world alone.
For a moment, Romeo thought that Zoe must have been out of office. Then he heard her voice come through the divide. He felt sick again. He had said all that he wanted to say to her, that was until Ellie decided to defend her brother’s honour. He took a deep breath and pushed the door open, choosing to avoid Zoe as much as he could. Romeo closed the door but kept his fingers curled around the handle so he knew where his escape was. He glanced at her only briefly before looking away again, trying to think of where Ellie might have hit when she threw the laptop. “Sorry ‘bout our El.” He forced out, taking another deep breath. “She’s her own girl now. Not a kid anymore. But she’s still my sister.” He wanted to make it clear that he was saying sorry for her, but would always be on her side even if it was the wrong one. Blood was so much thicker than water when it came to the siblings.
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TAGGED! Zoe Diana Tylers WORDS! 644! LYRICS! Almost Forgot - - - Against The Current NOTES! <3 <3 <3
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Post by Zoe Diana Tylers on Feb 27, 2019 21:15:55 GMT -5
Zoe wanted to run again. She wanted to jump in her old car, toss a suitcase in the back, and just drive; it didn’t matter where, as long as it was far away from this office that felt more like a cage and the ungraded papers that shackled her to her desk. She wanted freedom and air that wasn’t filled with exhaust fumes; she wanted to be anywhere else besides tossing back scotch like it was water. She could just walk out the door and go without looking back, like she’d been doing for the last year. She could.
But then she remembered why she came back to this godforsaken city, the one that had once terrified her and thrilled her all in the same heartbeat. This place had once been filled with love, the kind of love that consumed a person without them realizing it; the kind that was found between dusty book shelves and in old ice cream shops, or in late night stories of murals painted on bedroom walls. It sprung up like the breeze rolling over a field of bluegrass; slowly, gently tickling your nose and then engulfing you before you even had a chance to hold on to your hat. It was the kind of love that she would never find again, and Zoe very well knew that she’d been an idiot for giving it up in the first place.
Circling the top of her glass with a finger, Zoe’s eyes looked up to the office door in annoyance. She didn’t want to deal with a whiny student complaining about their lab report; she didn’t have the patience to listen to their excuses or irrelevant chattering anymore. However, as an all too familiar head of bronze hair popped around the frame, Zoe suddenly felt her breath stick inside the back of her throat. She had already gone enough rounds with the Jervis siblings today; she didn’t know how many more she could take before she found herself truly drowning in the bottle of scotch. Zoe straightened up in her seat, but it did little to improve the appearance of her wrecked office. He still wouldn’t look at her. "She’s mad; she has a right to be,” Zoe commented back, looking back down to her empty glass. "That was a new laptop,” she added, eyes glancing to the shattered piece of technology on her desk. "Was.” Zoe stood up from her desk, going to tuck the glass back into the bottom drawer of her file cabinet. She didn’t care what Romeo saw here anymore; it was clear he wouldn’t look at her anyway. "Both of you seem to be wreaking havoc around NYU,” Zoe said with a laugh, shaking her head and sitting back down on the edge of her desk. She looked at him, waiting for him to run or smash her computer more. Maybe he’d start in on the furniture since Ellie had already damaged Zoe’s personal belongings. Maybe he’d just leave, like she had done so many months before.
• • • TAG: romeo jackson jervis WORDS: 510 LOCATION: Her Office, NYU LYRICS: Let’s Hurt Tonight by OneRepublic NOTES: <3 <3 <3
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Post by romeo jackson jervis on Mar 1, 2019 12:27:36 GMT -5
Running away had never even crossed Romeo’s mind. Jervis’ didn’t run. They fought. When the flight and fight instinct kicked in, they drilled their heels into the ground and readied their fists. Running away was never, ever an option for them. If Romeo ever found the time to look into his ancestry, he would find story after story of his kin refusing to roll over and take their beatings. They might have been the poorest of society throughout every generation, but they were proud, and they fought hard. One caused an entire factory strike in the late 1800’s over cuts to the pay. Another had a wedding that made the local newspaper at the time because she punched her husband to be for thinking it was alright for him to carry on with some other woman after the vows had been exchanged. Some were minor exchanges throughout the centuries, but others had contributed to bigger movements in the country. Now they just waited on microfilm and old preserved papers, waiting for someone to re-discover their stories.
So he had fought in his own way this time. He didn’t need his fists (apart from the one time he punched a wall in heartbroken anguish; the crack in the plaster was still there, hidden only partially by a movie poster Ellie had bought him). Romeo just fought against the pain of losing Zoe by burying himself in work – both college and the bookstore – and fighting for that better life he had dreamt of since he was just a little boy. No battle was won instantly overnight, and this was a long slog, with sleepless nights and pens as his only weapon most of the time. It still hurt. The pain didn’t just vanish when he opened a book of Shakespeare. It was a fitting distraction though. He could only smell old pages which made him forget how she smelt. He could only see the words in front of him which temporarily erased the sight of her in the morning light. It was a flawed battle plan, but it was one that still managed to fight off the encroaching enemy and its waves of grief and depression.
Plus, there was Ellie. Yeah, she was beyond pissed by what had happened, but Romeo didn’t want her to give into her anger. He didn’t – not even for one second – think she might end up like their useless father, but if she didn’t control her anger from time to time then she’d walk the same path as him. Broken families didn’t need to make more broken families. “Yeah. You were her go to for all ‘girl things’. Then y’ suddenly weren’t there.” He hadn’t come here to make Zoe feel any worse, but that was the bare bones of why Ellie was so mad. She had lost the closest thing to a sister and confidant. She had lost her right when she probably wanted her around the most. Finishing up school and starting college was a daunting time for every kid, but Romeo suspected girls felt it more because of the pressure to figure out who you were away from those high school cliques and taunts; something the guys he knew had never really cared much for. “Is it a write off?” He moved his gaze to the laptop, but still avoided Zoe. A part of him felt bad if it was really destroyed, but at the same time he couldn’t help be impressed at the strength of his little sister. He didn’t notice the glass or the bottle because he was working very hard on not looking anywhere near Zoe; the laptop was as far as he dared go. “Yet some think it’s borin’ ‘ere.” He sniffed and looked at the window. It was so bright and sunny outside, yet the room was cold as a winter’s night.
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TAGGED! Zoe Diana Tylers WORDS! 649! LYRICS! Almost Forgot - - - Against The Current NOTES! <3 <3 <3
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Post by Zoe Diana Tylers on Mar 7, 2019 18:18:36 GMT -5
Zoraline had always been stubborn. From the time she learned to say “no,” it was near impossible to change her mind once it was set to something. She got what she wanted and, if she didn’t, she worked until she did; that had always been the way things were. Zoe wasn’t one who gave up until she was satisfied with the results, especially when it came to her professional life or the animals she was caring for. But, for some wild reason, that hadn’t extended to Romeo; that will to fight for what she wanted vanished out of her head like a cheap magic trick, and she went with it before she’d even had a chance to blink. For the first time, she gave in without hesitation and ran the opposite direction.
After her mind had been set to run, there was no convincing her to stop; even her Mama had given up on reigning in her oldest daughter, forcing a wedge between them that had never existed before. Zoe felt the weight of her disappointment almost as heavily as the heartbreak she’d dealt to Romeo; she had worked so hard to make her Mama proud only to completely shatter that dream in a matter of months after working her entire life towards the finish line. The woman wouldn’t say it out-right; she’d been raised better than that, after all, but Zoe could see it written in her eyes when she came slumping back to Adams after tossing away the happiness that had been within her reach. She was failing everyone that mattered most to her because she couldn’t face the fear of uncertainty gripping onto her heart.
Zoe had always, always hated fighting with Romeo. Their playful arguing and banter had once been a joy for her, but she knew they were both so capable of saying things to knock the other flat on their back when the words turned vicious instead of joking. It had been a careful balance then; now, the scales had tipped and there was nothing holding back their tongues from piercing the places that hurt the most. Romeo knew parts of her that no one else did; she had spilled herself open to him and given him access to nearly every corner of her heart, arming him with an arsenal of weaponry that was more lethal than any poison. And she had a feeling he was now aiming to kill.
Her eyes skittered away from him as he scolded her for disappearing, arms crossing over her chest as she looked to her heels laying toppled on the floor. "I tried to call her,” she said, shaking her head and avoiding his eyes. "Every day for months, I had her number dialed and I just… stopped,” she sighed. "I couldn’t face her questions when I didn’t know the answers myself. I couldn’t help her find her way when I didn’t know where I was going either.” It was a pathetic excuse that she’d already told him, but it was the truth; she hadn’t known and, even if she’d called, she’d have had no idea what to say to either of them. Even now, she didn’t know what to say to him anymore. Her gaze coming back to him, she added, "I wrote her letters. Both of you, actually.” That was true; she had written them so many letters, more than she could ever possibly count, and she hadn’t sent a single one of them. They were never enough to explain why she had disappeared, so they had been left in dusty bar ashes trays or buried deep in the trunk of her car. She never found the words that were worth sending to them. "I know it doesn’t fix anything, but I didn’t just forget you. I have thought about you, both of you, every single day since I left; I just couldn’t ever find the right words to say to you again, so I stopped trying to say them.”
Standing up from her desk, she slumped into her chair as he asked about the laptop. She knew it was a goner; there was no saving the bits and pieces that were left. But it was such a shame to watch something so beautiful be thrown away. "It probably is,” she sighed. "Fighting with the two of you always ends in some kind of casualty.” As he threw her twisted words back in her face, she shook her head. Zoe was so tired of fighting with him; she didn’t want to have the same battle anymore. She leaned forward on her elbows, blue eyes staring at him with sincerity as she said, "You aren’t boring, Romeo Jackson Jervis. You are ridiculously, annoyingly stubborn sometimes and incredibly smart and the best brother to that girl who is the spitting image of you. But, boring?” She paused, taking a deep breath to say, "No, you aren’t boring. And I’m so sorry if I made you feel like you weren’t the most exciting thing that came crashing into my life, because you were; you are.” Zoe stared at him, waiting for him to say something, anything, to her pouring her heart out. She just wanted him to look at her and see that she wasn’t the monster he had painted her to be while she was gone. She loved him; the kind of love that survived anything, and she could only hope he felt the same way.
• • • TAG: romeo jackson jervis WORDS: 918! LOCATION: Her Office, NYU LYRICS: Let’s Hurt Tonight by OneRepublic NOTES: This got SO MUCH deeper than intended but she's trying xD
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Post by romeo jackson jervis on Mar 12, 2019 17:15:31 GMT -5
Romeo hadn’t spoken much about Zoe in her absence. Ellie asked and he was honest with her, but whenever anyone else asked him how he was doing he just shrugged them off. He didn’t want to dwell on his loneliness, on his heartbreak. If he did then someone would only be dragged down as he told his jaded tales of life. Romeo was used to having his dreams of a happy life crushed. It had happened when he was a child, trapped in a home with a sick mother and an abusive father. And now it had happened in his adult life. Everything had been put on pause when he took Ellie in. He lived in a limbo state, unsure of when he could go back to the dreams he had shelved for his baby sister. When the time came to dust them off again, he had thought that the fates might smile on him for a change. He had Zoe then, had his ring on her finger, and they had been making plans for their happy life together. How quickly the world can come crashing down around one person. All he had been left with was those dusty dreams; dreams he was unsure of until Ellie gave him the harsh shove that he needed to realise himself again.
He was closed off. He put up a stone wall in the image of himself and went about life. “Time heals all wounds” they say, but Romeo was tired of the ticking clock when he felt just as empty as when Zoe had taken off. Scattered moments here and there helped him forget sometimes, but it was only ever a temporary reprieve from his grief. Nights out with liquor and friends eventually turned into an empty apartment and a killer hangover. Dinners with Ellie could only last so long before the freshman raced off to join her friends for other plans. Every night Romeo came back to that empty apartment, often cold because he’d left a window cracked, and even with the TV on it was too quiet. They had all been on the cusp of change, but this wasn’t the change Romeo had wanted, or expected.
Romeo fell back against the doorframe, his body aching from the tension he had come in here with. He would have sat down, but he didn’t want it to look like he was staying. He wasn’t staying. He wanted out immediately. His heart hurt just being in that office and listening to the woman who had destroyed almost all of his being. He listened to her, and surprised himself by staying calm. Maybe Ellie had come in her channelling both of their anger. “But that’s it. Y’ stopped tryin’.” He looked over at Zoe, and gently broke the truth to her. “Our El…she wasn’t supposed t’ be this angry and jaded.” He started, picking each word carefully, speaking softly. “I was broken and she turned her pain to rage.” He let his eyes settle on the wrecked laptop. “Anythin’ might ‘ave been better than nothin’ t’ her.” Ellie’s temper was identical to his own. It was an inherited curse. Ellie had always been in control of her though. She had bottled it up and let it out with exercise and music. After Zoe left it was like she just said “fuck it” and let it become her most prominent feature. He wouldn’t blame Zoe outright, but just listening to El talk about her these days was enough for Romeo to see that his baby sister had been hurt, too.
Something inside of him snapped. Everything bubbled up and flooded out of him like water bursting through a dam. “I don’t care if I am borin’.” He scoffed. “It was never about bein’ excitin’ or some fuckin’ hero from a bookstore.” He looked at Zoe and every emotion was burning in his eyes. He pushed off from the wall with strong shoulders. “It was about bein’ enough.” His fingers scratched through his hair, and he laughed unkindly to himself. “But I wasn’t even that.” He wanted a cigarette more than anything right now, but he needed to say this before his heart hammered its way through his chest. “I wasn’t the country boy you expected t’ fall in love with. I know fuck all about farm life! I came from nothin’ and I still ‘ave nothin’. I get it. It’s not what a girl falls asleep t’ when they’re a teenager. I’m just grit an’ anger – an’ that’s far less poetic than fire an’ brimstone.” His eyes found Zoe again. “All I hope is that one day y’ find what is enough and you’re ‘appy with it. And him.” His lips twitched into something sad and annoyed. Romeo had said all he could now. He was going to offer something for the laptop, but that was the last thing on his mind right now. Instead he turned towards the door and tugged on the handle. Seeing Zoe, being near her…it was just too hard.
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TAGGED! Zoe Diana Tylers WORDS! 859! LYRICS! Almost Forgot - - - Against The Current NOTES! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!
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Post by Zoe Diana Tylers on Mar 13, 2019 20:51:19 GMT -5
If Zoe had wanted a country life, she would have stayed in Adams. She would have remained in her small town and found an unambitious boy who could live out that fantasy so many of her friends had always dreamed about, complete with cookie cutter kids and a too-cramped house surrounded by fields and a repetitive routine that never changed throughout the years. If she had wanted that, she wouldn’t have come to New York in the first place. But Zoe had always known that she wasn’t meant to be a farmhouse wife like her mother; god bless the woman, but that future had always seemed so utterly unfulfilling to Zoe. She was meant to do more than be just another lost cause in the middle of nowhere. Becoming a vet was what set her soul on fire; it made her excited to get up in the morning and continue living in this crazy world. Working with animals made her complete; it gave her that purpose she had been striving to find throughout her life, and abandoning that was a choice she would never be able to make. Even giving up practicing for a few months to teach at NYU was driving her wild; she was still reliving her cases during class and consulting whenever she could, but it wasn’t the same as being in the middle of a practice, boots deep in a birth or problem solving to help heal a sick animal. That was what she had always been meant to be doing, and she understood it now. For a long time, she had believed becoming a vet would be enough for her; she had thought that it would complete her and that nothing else would need to fit into her world. She hadn’t seen it when it had been right in front of her face but, now, Zoe knew that having a just career would never be enough. She needed more; she needed Romeo. Being alone for so long had taught her many lessons about herself, but the most important was that she wouldn’t be happy with one half of a life. She needed to have both a career and love; one without the other wasn’t enough for Zoe, but she had thrown away the love that completed her.
When she had first met Romeo, she had shied away from him; she had hidden in books and behind excuses to sneak into the store so she could bump into him. Somehow, by the luck of a shooting star, he had seen her, the tiny mouse too afraid to tell him she had fallen in love far before he’d ever noticed her. Zoe had thought she was far too boring for someone like him; someone who was exciting and full of the brightness found only in city lights. The fear still clung to the back of her mind while they were together, even through the times he had made her feel like the world revolved around her. She hadn’t thought she was worth him; she had thought she was too plain and too boring and too country. She was just a girl from Adams, a town that you drove through without stopping and forgot before you’d gotten a mile outside the city limits. He was her Superman; the kind of hero who skipped over unimpressive girls like her in favor of the shiny Lois Lanes. Zoe had never, ever thought herself enough for someone as wonderful as him.
Her eyes fell on him, pinned against the door and seeming like he was going to bolt at any moment. This was to be their destiny now: running from each other because she hadn’t been brave enough to say that she loved him too much to trick him into marrying a plain cowgirl like her. He didn’t deserve to be trapped with her, the one who had spent more of her life stuck studying or running on a horse than truly living in the moment. He deserved so much more, and so did Ellie. "Men like you aren’t supposed to fall in love with stupid girls like me, Romeo,” she said, shaking her head at him as he spoke. "You’re supposed to love exciting city girls who like bright lights and the smell of dirty streets. You are supposed to be with someone as wonderfully colorful as you who won’t break you because she doesn’t know how to tell you that she loves you so much it terrifies her.” Angrily brushing a stubborn tear from her cheek, she took a single step towards him, keeping the distance but meeting his eyes as he finally looked at her.
Hearing him say the words that had echoed around in her own head for so long was a bigger slap in the face than anything else he had ever said to her. He wasn’t enough? He was everything to her; he was the reason she had chosen to give up Adams and the reason she’d had the courage to be more than a boring country mouse. He had become her entire world and made her realize that she wanted both things in her life; she wanted love and she wanted a career. She wanted him.
Zoe met his familiar eyes with her blue deep blue ones for the first time since she’d come back. He looked like Romeo; the Romeo who used to tuck her in at night and then steal the blankets, and the Romeo who would scold her for hiding his damn cigarettes, and the Romeo who made her heart stop because he was perfectly beautiful. He wasn’t a story book hero riding in on a white horse, but she had never signed up to be a princess; she had signed up for the messy fights and painful heartbreaks and penny pinching to make ends meet. She had fallen in love with the grit and anger; the broken poetry of it all. She had signed up for that happy ending, the one that would always be enough for her. "This was the fight we were supposed to have last year,” she said quietly, closing her eyes tightly to fight back the emotions welling in her own heart. He had always been able to read her eyes, and she had always fought to keep him from it. "Except it should have been me telling you that I wasn’t enough; you deserved so much more than a boring country mouse.” His last words had her heart breaking all over again. He was leaving; it was him walking out this time, and she deserved it.
But, dammit, she was not going to let him run. It didn’t help anything; she knew that, first hand. Zoe took the few quick steps to the door, not caring if he pushed her out of the way as she slammed herself in front of him to block his exit. She broke the barriers of space he’d been keeping between them, getting close enough to pickup the heady scent of pure him that had driven her wild on so many occasions.
There she was, heels forgotten by the desk and the Scotch burning on her cheeks, as she looked up at him. Her blue eyes were begging him to stop; to stay, like she should have done. "I don’t want a stupid country boy,” she said, tentatively reaching out to place a hand on his chest. "I want cigarette smoke on a fire escape and dusty books scattered around a tiny apartment; I wanna steal old football shirts for pajamas and be teased for buying too many snacks at the movies. I want late night walks in Central Park and dancing to music from closed cafes; I want the grit and the anger and the imperfections,” she rambled, begging him to hear her for one more minute. "I want you, Romeo; I’ve always wanted you because living without you is like leaving my entire heart behind in this godforsaken city. Being anywhere except with you isn’t enough for me, and that’s the one thing I’m more sure of than anything else.”
• • • TAG: romeo jackson jervis WORDS: 1359! LOCATION: Her Office, NYU LYRICS: Let’s Hurt Tonight by OneRepublic NOTES: <3 <3 <3
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Post by romeo jackson jervis on Apr 1, 2019 12:28:45 GMT -5
Romeo only knew the city. He was comfortable amongst the grit and the noise. He didn’t see anything dull about slabs of concrete and glass towering high into the sky. The city was alive. Its heartbeat echoed in every pneumatic drill that woke someone up three hours before their head would have been ready for it. Its blood flowed as electric currents that kept the streets bright even on the darkest of nights. He loved the hum of lights in an old café. The rain hammering on his windows was surprisingly soothing for him. He knew the shortcuts down dark alleyways and he wasn’t afraid to use them, his fists always ready if some thug thought it smart to jump him from the shadows. Romeo was at home in the city. It was where he belonged and where he could be the best version of him. He liked cracks in the pavement, he enjoyed broken gutters beating out a rhythm during a thunderstorm. Sirens were the background music to his life and it was unsettling when he didn’t hear them for a long time. He had a blackout blind for the streetlights and headlights, but he would miss them if they weren’t there to block out.
The city was there to remind him that he was still alive when he had felt so numb for so long. It crept in on the quietest night, luring him away from peaceful slumber to make him remember that loneliness. The city embraced him though. It wrapped itself around him with noise and lights, keeping him distracted and reminding him that there were so many ways to feel alive again. A good book always helped, and so did a cold beer after work with his colleagues or classmates. It pulled at him to get out, even if it was down to the store on the corner for more cigarettes, or to the fast food place that made his favourite greasy burgers. The city offered him comfort when he didn’t think there was any to give.
He listened to Zoe, listened to her entirely while closing his eyes and tipping his head back against the door. His eyes felt dry, his head started to throb between the eyes. The tension headaches were a newer thing to Romeo, but he was familiar with them by now. They came to him in moments of stress and often stayed until he was far away from the original situation and doing something relaxing. It pinched at his sinuses, while his fingers itched to be holding a cigarette. He didn’t know if thinking about the smoke trail was soothing or making it harder to stay and listen. Eventually he had enough. “Zoe – stop.” He spoke quietly but firmly. He wasn’t here to fight or argue, and honestly he didn’t think he had it in him right now. “I’m tired. I’m so fuckin’ tired. I’m tired o’ thinkin’ about what could ‘ave been, or where y’ were. It has exhausted me. Life, since y’ left, has exhausted me.” He took a deep breath, wishing again that it was a long drag on a cigarette instead. “I don’t ‘ave anythin’ left in me to keep doin’ this with y’.” His heart sat heavy in his chest, and while hope flickered for a slither of a second, it couldn’t get through the heavy stone walls that now sat around his soul. “It’s too hard to be around y’.” He couldn’t take the risk of breaking his heart again. He didn’t think he would ever recover from it – from her.
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TAGGED! Zoe Diana Tylers WORDS! 604! LYRICS! Almost Forgot - - - Against The Current NOTES! I have two Romeo’s fighting for control in this thread. One is wildly out of control and the other is just this exhausted mess.
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Post by Zoe Diana Tylers on Apr 1, 2019 20:24:46 GMT -5
Zoe had never loved the city, despite her years of living there. She had never fallen for the grimy streets or night skies dimmed by the ever-glowing neon signs; it had never become a place where she had felt like she was at home. No, she felt at home on the back of a horse, flying through a field with air that didn’t taste of smog whipping through her hair. She was at peace there; heart racing, boots braced, and a smile nearly splitting her face. But, she had found someone who made her fall in love with him and the way he saw the city. He had made her see the beauty behind the cold concrete; the serenity in the sirens and honking horns. He had made her find home in a place she never thought she’d be able to. She still held the country deep in her heart, her Tennessee blood running strong through her veins, but there was a piece of her that didn’t feel so alien in this city anymore. At least, she had felt like that before she’d run away. She had felt like she could maybe, possibly, belong here, in this city that could hold her entire town in one apartment complex. He had made her feel like this could be her home, too.
She had spent over two years of her life working to break down Romeo’s walls. Zoe had given her all to that battle from the moment they had begun to be something more than casual acquaintances in a bookstore; she had worked through the trenches and earned her way by the iron bars before retreating. She hadn’t run because she was scared of what she’d found there, but because she had thought herself the wrong princess for that fairy tale.
Zoe looked up at him, fire burning in her eyes. She knew the expression that was invading his features; she had worn it weeks ago when she’d been in the midst of running to city after city. That exhaustion had driven her to spend her late nights curled up on a bar stool nursing the broken heart that she could barely feel in her chest at that point. It had taken her months to find her flame again; to find the passion that had been consuming her for as long as she could remember. She had found it in an email from NYU, in that invitation to return to the track that her life should have been on before she derailed it all. She had found her fire again, but it was heartbreaking to see it gone from the man who had once burned brighter than the sun. "The best things are always worth fighting for; you taught me that,” she said quietly. Zoe sighed, shaking her head but not breaking away from him. She didn’t want to hurt him anymore, but she knew that giving up wasn’t an option. She had tried that and hated every moment. ”Being together used to be easy, Romeo,” she said, blue eyes trained on him. "Even when we fought, we found our way back to each other every time.” Her gaze broke from him as words stuck in her throat. "I came back,” she choked out. "I came back to you.”
• • • TAG: romeo jackson jervis WORDS: 553! LOCATION: Her Office, NYU LYRICS: Let’s Hurt Tonight by OneRepublic NOTES: <3 <3 <3
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Post by romeo jackson jervis on Jun 16, 2019 16:34:25 GMT -5
Romeo couldn’t cope in the silence. He didn’t find a peaceful night’s slumber with only the crickets in a field. He needed the flashing lights beyond the blinds, the sirens filtering in even through a shut window. It was the city’s heartbeat that kept his going. It might be nice to spend a weekend somewhere a little quieter, but only every now and then. Liverpool and New York might be someone else’s idea of hell; both of them were filled with noise pollution and far too many people, but Romeo liked that. He liked that people needed to have a street skill to make it through a hectic Saturday sidewalk. He loved knowing that construction noises and car radios were out there. Of course, early morning unwanted alarms such as the pneumatic drill weren’t his favourite things, but to him it was better than the silence and the endless fields that were, quite frankly, a hayfever sufferer’s personal hell.
Then there was the fact that the country and all that was associated with it left a bad taste in Romeo’s mouth after Zoe left. He didn’t want to hear the music, see the animals, or even drive by a field that didn’t have a skyscraper in view. Some people found solace in their bedrooms, a place that was entirely their own where no one else could bother them. Romeo did have that in his apartment, but the city worked just a bit better to help him forget about Zoe and the pain she had caused him. A few landmarks still held tender memories that broke what was left of his heart if he wandered near them unprepared, but in the background there was always the din to drown them out. In New York there was always something happening to provide a distraction. One second he could be thinking about a sweet memory that had soured, the next there was a fight between a parking attendant and an arrogant driver. It wasn’t exactly prime time entertainment, but it was enough. These days all Romeo needed was enough.
He listened to Zoe even though there was a part of his brain taking her words and twisting it into nothing but chatter; the kind you hear on the radio but don’t really allow to linger once the music starts back up again. All Romeo wanted right now was a cigarette. He wanted out of the office, out of the building and then off campus. He wanted to put as much distance between her and him as was physically possible while still remaining in the city itself. “Y’ also need t’ know when t’ walk away.” That was something Romeo was learning to understand. He had started that difficult lesson when Zoe was gone, with Ellie coaxing him through every difficult moment and helping him to take those unsteady steps back to the warmth and safety of their life. He was too tired to take on every challenging battle that came his way. He was learning to put himself first, to focus on his desires for the first time in a very long time.
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TAGGED! Zoe Diana Tylers WORDS! 522! LYRICS! Almost Forgot - - - Against The Current NOTES! <3 <3 <3
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Post by Zoe Diana Tylers on Aug 3, 2019 21:08:25 GMT -5
It had taken Zoe a long time to learn how to sleep in New York. While her house in Tennessee had never been quiet growing up with a truck load of siblings, nights had still allowed for whispers soft enough to hear the wind rattling an old barn. When she had moved for school, she hadn’t been able to sleep for weeks; the din of the city kept her awake, no matter what she tried. It was a constant sound, pressing on her like a weight that reminded her just how foreign she was in this concrete world that seemed harsh compared to her soft flowing fields. But she had learned to adjust; whether it was from the exhaustion of being a full-time student and working to support herself or from her boring textbooks she still didn’t know, but she had found a way to sleep in the insanity of the city. Returning after being gone for so long felt like falling back into the comforts of an old favorite song. The chaotic symphony didn’t feel like a noose anymore; it was a familiar hug from a friend she hadn’t seen in far too long.
The Romeo that was standing before her now, exhaustion written on his face as clearly as the words in the novels he loved, was not familiar anymore. There had been nights where Zoe could remember drowning out the city with the sound of his heartbeat, her head nestled on his chest and her body pressed close to him. They had fit so perfectly despite their differences; that Romeo had filled in all of the pieces Zoe had been lacking and taught her to be stronger for them. He had helped her become fearless enough to chase her dreams without restraint, and to be proud of being selfish for once in her life. She gave so much of herself to others; she always had, whether it was her mothering her siblings or saving animals. Zoe had time and time again given her entire soul to everyone else but, the one time her heart finally fought to choose its own path, it had caused her to break one of the most important people in her life. She had given up everything to finally achieve her life’s dream. She had also learned so many things tending to the animals who had shaped her entire life; she had saved them while slowly destroying herself in the process.
"The Romeo I loved never walked away just because something was complicated,” Zoe returned, wishing he’d hear her rather than continuing to write her off. She had always listened to him, even when her mind had been running a million miles an hour. "I’m not perfect and I shouldn’t have left you, I know that,” she pleaded, blue eyes begging him to see the woman he’d loved for so long before she’d gone and screwed it all up. "But I’m here now. I know who I am and what I want now and I’m not afraid of you anymore, Romeo.”
• • • TAG: romeo jackson jervis WORDS: 511! LOCATION: Her Office, NYU LYRICS: Let’s Hurt Tonight by OneRepublic NOTES: <3 <3 <3
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Post by romeo jackson jervis on Dec 3, 2019 10:24:53 GMT -5
Romeo just wanted to get on with his life. Ellie was coming into her own and while she was capable of getting herself out of the trouble she landed in, Romeo liked to have her back. After all, he had done it for all of her life and stopping that wasn’t going to be easy. It was tough enough now that she wasn’t living in the apartment, only staying after a late night of food and movies. Away from that though, Romeo just wanted to get through college again and begin building a life with sturdier foundations than the one he came from. Barnes & Noble was not a career for life, but it put food on the table and helped him buy the books he needed for his classes. Besides, it was a decent place for a bookworm like Romeo; he wasn’t going to complain about having a small discount when college textbooks cost a small fortune and not all of them were available second-hand. Besides, Romeo liked to make his own notes if he was making them, and someone else’s pencil on the page only confused his train of thought.
That wasn’t the only thing that confused Romeo these days. Seeing Zoe again was like something out of a nightmare. He had done a great deal of moving on and now he felt like he was back where he had started, the day she left him. He hadn’t slept soundly the last few days and his concentration was far away when he was in work and in class. He just wanted all of this to be over, to get his life back to the point he had built it back up to. Was that too much to ask for?
“Complicated? This isn’t complicated. It’s gut-wrenchingly painful. It’s like seein’ a ghost from another life.” He wanted this over, for Zoe to be gone again. He didn’t know what Zoe wanted from him now, or what she had been expecting by coming back to New York. “Now and then are completely different times. Y’ can’t jus’ come back an’ have the mistakes of the past all erased.” He felt that tiredness wash over him again and sighed. “Glad t’ know y’ were scared o’ me before.” He mumbled, moving away and towards the door. “Look, I came ‘ere t’ apologise for our El’ and I’ve done that now. So, see y’.” He grabbed the handle and made to pull it open. He was through with this, and he wasn’t going to punish himself any more.
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TAGGED! Zoe Diana Tylers WORDS! 434! LYRICS! Almost Forgot - - - Against The Current NOTES! <3 <3 <3
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Post by Zoe Diana Tylers on Dec 3, 2019 19:37:32 GMT -5
Zoe had been raised on the founding concept that, for girls like her, there was no “and” between marriage or career; it was one or the other and that was the end of it. Her mother, bless her heart, had given her entire heart to raising their family and making the ranch a home. She had taught Zoe the importance of family and shown her all of the skills that went along with being a homemaker; especially as the oldest daughter, Zoe was her right-hand for everything and was by her side for as long as she could remember. But, for as much time as she spent filling that role of traditional housewife, Zoe had very quickly learned that that wasn’t what she wanted for herself. She wanted to be like her Mama in so many ways, but she didn’t want to be a housewife and she had decided on that a long time ago. She had promised herself that she wouldn’t sacrifice her own happiness for that.
That was why Romeo terrified her in ways she had never known how to explain. For her, Romeo was the “or” she had been running from for most of her life. Zoe had been so close to having her career set in stone; she had the degree, she had the job lined up, she had everything she needed to pursue the dream she had wanted more than anything else in her entire life. Choosing between that and him was impossible, and she had thought that was her only choice. She had believed as soon as they were married, the questions about kids and white picket fences would start pouring in; the pressure to become the housewife she so feared would be looming over any happiness she had with him, and she didn’t want to ruin both of their lives by forcing them into something miserable.
"I’m not asking for them to be erased,” she interrupted him, her brow furrowed. "I know I screwed up. I want to own that and show you that I’m not the stupid girl who ran away from you.” She hadn’t come to terms with the idea that she could maybe, just possibly, have both. Romeo hadn’t known her as the country girl following her Mama’s footsteps and keeping her boots shined; he had seen her as the college student chasing her dreams and working her ass off to be something more than a tiny town in Tennessee. Zoe had given him the side of her that wanted to save the world and she thought he had loved that part; she thought he had loved her. She just hadn’t realized that maybe his love was strong enough to support the career woman she aspired to be. Maybe he was something completely different than the people she’d been raised around, and he wouldn’t put the pressure on that so many of them did.
"Yes, you scared me. Marrying you scared me,” she confirmed with a nod of her head, running a hand through her blonde hair. "For my entire life, I’ve been taught that marriage meant I had to give up everything, including the career I hadn’t even gotten to pursue yet. By becoming your wife, I thought I would have to sign my life away, and that terrified me. I didn’t want to lose who I was, who I had fought so hard to become.” Her blue eyes looked up to his, stubborn tears fighting against her lashes. She couldn’t cry in front of him; she wouldn’t. "The cigarettes didn’t scare me; the loud, brash accent didn’t scare me; the fact that ya can barely cook a proper meal didn’t scare me. I scared myself into thinking that I had to choose between being your wife or being the vet that I had worked years to become, and I chose to run instead. I tried to save you from having an unhappy marriage but really just hurt both of us more.” Zoe reached out to stop him from leaving, her smaller hand meeting his on the doorknob. She couldn’t trap him here any longer and she knew that. "I know I hurt you,” she whispered. "But please, Romeo, let’s stop running from each other. Please.”
• • • TAG: romeo jackson jervis WORDS: 714 LOCATION: Her Office, NYU LYRICS: Let’s Hurt Tonight by OneRepublic NOTES: <3 <3 <3
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Post by romeo jackson jervis on Feb 22, 2020 19:55:01 GMT -5
Romeo didn’t have expectations for life. He had his dreams, which he considered to be small compared to some people’s ideals for their future. He didn’t have some grand idea of what his life ought to be though. He wasn’t mad that his teaching dreams hadn’t come to fruition by the time he was twenty-three. He didn’t mind that he had to go to parent-teacher meetings instead of parties. He had known from a young age that his life was on a parallel, but totally different path to his peers. His life, and Ellie’s, had been harder than they ever really let on. Having each other made it seem easy some of the time, but he knew that outsiders probably saw them as struggling or deserving of their praise and pity. Anything that deviated from the norm seemed to prompt that from society, but Romeo knew they weren’t the only two siblings out there who had been abandoned by a parent, or who had a parent who wasn’t mentally capable of caring for them. It could have been far worse for them, and they both knew it.
Getting to this point, reaching a place in his life where his dreams were almost reality made Romeo feel fulfilled and alive. After what he had been through with Zoe, he needed that. He had never expected to see her again, never thought that Ellie would lose her absolute shit at the woman who had once been thought of as a sister. Then again, he had always known fate to be exceptionally cruel so why wouldn’t it throw her back in his path when he had worked so hard to move on from her? Romeo knew Zoe was trying to pound on his walled-up heart with her words, but it was just noise to him right now. It was the radio in the background while he read a book. The white noise of the television when he fell asleep before the end of the movie. Her words weren’t getting through. “Ownin’ it doesn’t mean it’s forgiven.”
His hand recoiled at Zoe’s touch. Her hand on his was like electricity, like it had always been, but this time Romeo took no pleasure from it. “Tell me this, love. If I didn’t go ‘ere – if our El didn’t go ‘ere – would we even be talkin’?” The first day Romeo saw her back in New York he had felt sick. There was no other way to feel when the worst pain suddenly came crashing back into his life without warning. Being at NYU only made him relive that pain over and over again now. “I never gave you an ultimatum between marriage an’ a career. I’m pretty fuckin’ sure I made it clear ‘ow much I supported y’ doin’ y’ own thing.” He wasn’t going to be the man who made someone choose between being surviving and thriving. It wasn’t his way. “If that was what was goin’ through yer ‘ead back then, then maybe y’ should ‘ave tried talkin’ t’ me about it. The fact that y’ didn’t speaks louder than I fuckin’ did when I was dumb enough t’ ask y’ t’ marry me.” He wanted to hurt her. He wanted her to feel the way he had done when she walked out on him. And that hurt him because Romeo wasn’t typically the vindictive type. “An’ if y’ don’t let me leave now, then I’ll go through the window an’ let you explain it t’ the powers that be ‘round ‘ere.” Now that he said it, putting his fist through a window sounded like an excellent way to work through his problems.
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TAGGED! Zoe Diana Tylers WORDS! 619! LYRICS! Almost Forgot - - - Against The Current NOTES! He’s breaking my heart </3
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