A World Of Thorns • •

[leliana aria gaskarth]

Leliana watched Webster from her desk chair. The Lab-collie cross was curled up on the couch, fast asleep in the rays of the setting sun. He was so peaceful, and yet her mind was racing, constantly unsettled. She couldn’t figure it out. Her computer pinged with another email notification, and Leliana hit the mute button on her keyboard without turning around. It would be another request to write some perky biography about some silly reality television star who was only twenty-one and apparently had so much to say about her life. Leliana had already rejected it three times. She wasn’t interested in ghost writing anything like that. This had only turned into a career by chance because she didn’t want to be around people after everything that had happened. She didn’t want to be in that civilian office environment listening to Jenny talk about her perfect wedding and her perfect children. Leliana couldn’t do that when she had buried her perfect life in a New York Cemetery.

None of this was supposed to have happened. She told herself that several times a day but it didn’t change a damn thing. She still woke up alone in this apartment with only Webster to keep her from turning into a total recluse. A dog needed walking, and Webster made sure to drag Leliana out twice a day to the dog park down the street. Headphones kept her from interacting with any other human being though. She didn’t want to know her neighbours or the people who were down there with their pedigree breeds when she was. Leliana mostly just wanted to be left alone. She greeted and paid the delivery guys who brought her take-out containers but that was the extent of her social interaction. Or, it would be, if Niall wasn’t across the street. She could see his apartment from her own. Some nights when she knew insomnia was her not-so-best-friend, she would watch when his lights went out in one room, came on in another and went out completely. It was an oddly soothing habit of hers that had developed; a creepy habit, but it was just nice to know that someone was out there. New York was a faceless city to her, and beneath her stubbornness she needed someone to know she was hurting. Her vulnerable side was only for Webster to see when the apartment was shrouded in darkness and Leliana was sure Niall was asleep though. Else his spidey-senses might tingle and he might suddenly appear at her door with food or a drink invitation. She couldn’t risk that.

She was thankful for what he had done. Everyone had been helpful, but she had always been this stubborn fortress of emotion and she saw herself as unsinkable. Everything she loved was gone, and now she was this iron wall built to last until the end of days itself. No one was supposed to get through her now. They couldn’t. It would betray everything she had. At least that was how Leliana saw it. She was still wrapped up in her anger and grief. Everything she had was stolen from her in one single night; her family, her career, and her future. Now she had a dog that chewed her shoe laces and kicked her off the couch, along with a job that she didn’t really choose where she rejected far more than she accepted. What Leliana did accept she often came to hate. Webster lifted his head right before the knock came at the front door. Leliana didn’t need to guess who it was. She knew it could only be Niall. He was the only one who ever came around without calling first. With a heavy sigh she untangled her limbs from her chair and made her way slowly to the door, releasing the chain and cracking it opened just a smidge to look up at the man who was her brother-in-law. “Got lost? You live on the other side of the street, y’know.”

• • •

TAGGED! Niall Cian Gaskarth
WORDS! 669!
OUTFIT!
LYRICS! For The Keeping - - - Wayward Daughter
NOTES!

[Niall Cian Gaskarth]

There were still days when Niall woke up and thought about calling his brother about something that had happened in a damn dream. Time and memory were cruel when they teamed up to fuck with a person and Niall felt like they could both just go to hell. He'd woken up that morning, after a particularly weird dream that his brother would have enjoyed hearing about. It was a weird topic but they'd always shared their dreams in the morning when they'd been growing up. And then, whenever something had happened in their lives, they would call and claim it was all a dream that they needed to share. Sometimes it was life replaying itself in the dream world so they could work it out, sometimes it was just a ball of lies because shrinks cost money. Niall hated knowing that even after four years, he still woke up and his brain didn't remember for the first few minutes.

Scrubbing his hand over his face, Niall went through his morning routine before collecting his bag and heading off to work. It was a typical day, he trained in the gym, hit up the gun range to keep his aim tight and helped in the command centre when his team wasn't the main one. They took turns and this particular shift saw his team working the backend, the computers, the searches. He didn't mind that part of the job though he preferred being out there. Either way, he knew he was doing some good and at the end of the day that's all that mattered to the SWAT officer. He joked around with his teammates and buddies, agreed to get a drink after their shift and then backtracked because he had an appointment he couldn't miss immediately after work. But, he did promise if they were still out when he was done, he would meet up with them.

Even after four years, Niall had a standing date with the shrink and he didn't mind admitting to it. He had been cleared for duty after a couple of sessions, which he'd only needed to do because his CO saw that his focus was too tight. He'd seen something amiss and did a little detective work to figure out what had happened to one of his best shots. Niall had found that it was helpful to keep the appointments going, even after he had started to feel like he might not need them. Some days he just sat there and they talked about nothing really interesting, some days they spoke about a grizzly day he'd had and three times a year for the past four, he sat on that couch and cried. No words were spoken but Niall felt better afterwards.

He still mourned their deaths. He mourned their birthdays because they would never get any older and Niall had wanted to see his sweet little nephew grow up to be a good man. Today they spoke about books they were reading, giving and accepting recommendations. It wasn't a productive use of the Shrinks time but she allowed it because she knew it helped him. And Niall needed the routine of it more than anything else. Afterwards, they'd said goodbye for the week, Niall met up with his teammates for that drink, then another before he said goodbye to them, too. He had things he needed to do, Leliana to check in with because he'd missed talking to her the day before. It had been a bad day at the office and he didn't like seeing her when he knew his eyes were haunted by something similar to what she'd lived through. Small, saving grace, there had been no children involved. "Come on, let's eat." He said, reaching up for the lead kept by the door.

♦ ♦ ♦

TAG; leliana aria gaskarth
WORDS; 633
LYRICS; I'm Coming Over --Chris Young
NOTES; <3