Heart of Steel • •

[joey macey rayne carter]

Joey worked hard, but she also understood that it was important to sit back and relax with friends. She had lost too many of them over the years to take for granted the ones she had in her life now. She knew it would happen, even after she was discharged from the army. So many of the men and women she loved were still out there fighting a battle she had resigned from, and not all of them would make it home. Those that did were changed, and all she could do was to be there for them, and hide her own scars in case they triggered something. She had learnt about that the hard way, when one of her old comrades had suffered a PTSD flashback upon seeing the facial scar that Joey had been left with. He was there the day she got it, and seeing it again brought memories back that he wanted desperately to forget for the sake of his wife and kids. Now she played it safe, always wore her hair down when she went to veteran events and fought against the instinct to move the dark locks back behind her ear when it fell into her eye.

She considered herself to be very lucky. She had scars that she wore like jewellery because she was proud to have them from serving her country. She also had the nightmares so many ex-militaries never spoke of, but knew too well about. They had never manifested into PTSD or anything else that could really harm the life she had carved out as a civilian, but she knew to never say never. It could sneak up on her tomorrow or in ten years. She was tough in the meantime. Joey helped out those who needed it, who had walked in the boots both before and after her. She was a firefighter by profession now, but her volunteer hours stacked up just as much down at veteran centres or back on the military college campus that she had attended. Joey went there every so often to give talks to those who wanted to do what she had done, or to those recently back from service who were getting ready to settle back to normal life – though it would never be like they remembered before enlisting. It was a new life, a new chance, and not something they should squander. She hated sounding patronising, but those were her words for any man or woman who asked.

Living was exactly what she had planned this evening. Or at least for part of it. She was grabbing drinks with Kaiden, but had gone ahead and invited Angel along, too. She felt like he could do with socialising and the promise of a drink always went down well with the rough Texan who spoke little about his past, but had shown Joey enough to reveal that he was in need of starting again. She thought the pair of them might be good for each other. Joey had only ever drank with Kaiden and spoken about the past, and with Angel it was a lot of mumbling and cryptic talk. Maybe forcing new people together might change up the dynamic. She’d stick around anyway to see how it went. All went well, she could excuse herself after a few drinks and leave them at it until the bars closed. Or she’d slog it out with them if it was awkward and give it all a ‘oh well’ shrug when she got herself home and to her big king bed. She grabbed a table and texted Kaiden and Angel where exactly she was inside. Angel had gone home from the station to get a clean shirt, so he would be along in a little bit, but Kaiden shouldn’t keep her waiting too long. At least Joey hoped not. No one liked it when it looked like someone was hogging a booth to themselves.

• • •

TAGGED! Kaiden Radley Moriarty & angel quentin boyce
WORDS! 658!
OUTFIT! Captain Cupid!
LYRICS! Superman - - - IM5
NOTES!

[Kaiden Radley Moriarty]

Kaiden didn't date much anymore, not since she'd become a civilian. Dating meant dinner and dancing and she couldn't exactly dance anymore, she could barely walk five feet without having to rely on her cane. It was an accessory the blonde engineer didn't want to cart around with her but if she wanted to get from one side of her apartment to the other, she damn well needed the stupid thing, nevermind going anywhere else. It put a damper on things when guys would flirt with her while she was sitting down at some café somewhere and then they see her get up and reach for the cane. The backpedaling they start doing is more amusing than the flirting for Kaiden these days. It had taken a hell of a long time to get to that point and she was seeing a trainer five days a week just so she could walk across her apartment without help. Dancing was a far off dream but it was one she would reach. Maiden was too damn stubborn to ever give up on that. It's the reason her CO thinks she survived everything she did; pure stubborn nature at its finest. And Ki didn't have the heart to disagree with him and put a sad note on the jovial conversation; that she had King watching over her.

There wasn't much Ki believed in. While all the others were out there praying to god or whoever, she was talking to Kingston to get her through it alive. He'd lived through everything she went through years before she understood what he really did for a living. She knew if anyone was really out there and listening, it would be her brother and he would watch out for her the best that he could and in person she had Barry to yell in her face for getting into some sticky situations. He didn't show up in her hospital room that first time she was in and was teary eyed or soft spoken, worried about breaking her. No, he was in her face, yelling at her for being so stupid for getting hurt. It had been how he'd showed his concern and for as long as she'd known him, she had only ever heard him be quiet once; Kingston's funeral. And it had too be too strange for Kaiden to handle. And if he was overseas, he would have been telling her the same thing Joey kept telling her; get out there and meet people.

Except meeting people meant strangers asking questions and those questions generally had answers she couldn't actually give them. Everything that happened to her happened during a time in her life when fatigues were her only choice in attire and she fell asleep to the sounds of gunfire and at any minute, one could hit her; again. Joey had been begging her to go out for drinks for ages and Kaiden usually said okay because Joey knew what she'd gone through. They'd been stationed together for a while and she was one of the only people on the planet allowed to use the nickname her brother had created after the original one that he'd still called her until the day he'd died. Drinks with a girlfriend might not have been a date but it was still out in public which meant she got those looks. The ones that started at her head, admiring the view and worked down until they realised she had a cane and then the heads turned back so fast, she was genuinely surprised more people didn't have whiplash. She's wasn't an unattractive woman but she was damaged and that's what people saw. She was outside when Joey's text message beeped. Chuckling to herself, Ki made her way in and to the booth her friend sequestered. "The party has arrived." She announced dramatically as she slid in across from the firefighter, tucking her cane away beside her. She was too used to it now and Ki hated that so much.

Tag || joey macey rayne carter & angel quentin boyce
Words || 670
Clothes || Blonde Beauty
Music || Rewrite This Story --SMASH Cast
Notes || <3!

[joey macey rayne carter]

Joey had been on a handful of dates since leaving the army, but none of them had gone anywhere. It seemed being a woman who had risked her life and who continued to risk her life was intimidating to say the least. She didn’t consider herself an intense person, but she was passionate, and Joey wasn’t about to give up her career for a relationship. She couldn’t. She was who she was and she had served because she wanted to protect and save people. Her scars were proud reminders of that fact, and if people couldn’t handle it, well, she didn’t want them in her life. Thankfully, she could hide almost all of them on the day to day. It was just the one beside her eye that was a little harder to conceal. That was typically the one people asked about and how they discovered that the smiling Joey Carter had once been addressed as Captain Carter not too long ago. Then Joey watched as they quickly changed how they spoke to her. Even if it was only a brief change, there was always a change. Some people were awed, others awkward. Some never came back into her life, others soon got used to knowing about her past, even if they never asked about it again.

It was a weird position to be in, but Joey knew she wasn’t the only one. Plenty of people came out of the military and had to adjust again. It never really happened properly. There was always something that made them stand out. It could be the scars they had, or the nightmares that reminded them of what they had been through, but they were personal things. Away from that there was society. The rest of the world always treated them differently if they knew. Back home, the locals were constantly jumping out of their seats to give the space to Joey; at least the ones who knew her anyway. She didn’t want them to do it, but they treated her with this insane level of respect that it was both humbling and embarrassing. In New York she was often just another brunette without anything to identify her, unless her tags slipped free of her shirt and then it was another matter where people who spotted them gave her something extra. Joey could never accept her past how she wanted to and live like a normal civilian at the same time. It just wasn’t possible. She had accepted that, but it was still bothersome on occasion.

At the end of the day it could be difficult to just go out and be a person. Joey’s job now meant she was with people who didn’t worry so much because they were all back out there risking their lives if a blaze came down on the city, but away from them it was complicated. Old army buddies were another matter, but new friends were complicated. Even now Joey was still getting used to them. Which was why Kaiden was easy for her. She was familiar with the blonde woman and there was no need to worry about what she might say or do. And Angel, well, that man was tough and Joey hadn’t seen anything shock him into running away yet. It was why she enjoyed his company so much. “Actually, the party is missing a third, but I think we’ll be two drinks in before he gets here.” Joey peered towards the door, but for what reason she didn’t know. She didn’t expect Angel to be there yet. She knew his time keeping skills, and she knew him. He wasn’t a man who rushed, but he also wasn’t a man who took all the time in the world. It was merely a case of traffic tonight for him.

• • •

TAGGED! Kaiden Radley Moriarty & angel quentin boyce
WORDS! 636!
OUTFIT! Captain Cupid!
LYRICS! Superman - - - IM5
NOTES!

[Kaiden Radley Moriarty]

Kaiden had never been one for seeking out attention. When it was directed at her for specific reasons, she dealt with it accordingly and then slipped away into the shadows again. It had been what had made her so good at her job when she'd been in uniform. For someone as striking as she was, she blended well in all kinds of situations. Not so much anymore as she would forever walk with a cane but that was her problem to deal with. Just like being unable to go out dancing like she used to was something she had to deal with and though she hated that, she had come to terms with it all. She'd fought so hard to get to where she was now, walking with a cane if she had to go further than one end of her apartment to the other. For the most part, people didn't actually notice the pretty blonde and when they did, they saw the cane and usually looked away quickly, not wanting to be caught staring. Kaiden for the most part, did give them something to stare at though, since her canes were definitely not conventional. If she had to have the unwanted accessory, why shouldn't she have ones she loved. The attention that genuinely made her uncomfortable was when people saw her dog tags around her neck. Then they assumed correctly in thinking she sustained her injury overseas and the looks are so mixed, she felt like she got whiplash from them. If they weren't looking at her with pity or even shame, they were looking at her with pride and adoration and appreciation and though she understood that they were wanting to thank her for her service, it was the pitying looks that drove her to drink some nights and the shameful ones that made her angry. She didn't understand if they were ashamed of themselves for not enlisting themselves or if they were thinking she should be ashamed for signing up and fighting a war that caused "such a pretty girl to have such a horrific disability". As far as Kaiden was concerned, she didn't have a disability, she just walked funny and that was nothing to be ashamed of. Neither was signing up or not signing up to fight a war quite a few people think shouldn't have been started in the first place.

Joey understood, she'd seen it all and understood when Kaiden said subtle things about the pains or the weather about to go to shit when they were together. She also didn't mind when it took her twice as long to get anywhere because at least they were alive. They'd both lost too many friends, brothers and sisters to that fight; in Kaiden's case, literally. They could have turned out really fucked up after returning home but neither of them had let that happen to themselves, or each other. Kiwi remembered Joey's visits whenever she was able to pop in the hospital. Laughing and joking so much they had tears in their eyes had kept Kaiden going when she felt like giving up would have been best. Joey, her parents and her brother's best friend had all been her reasons for pushing forward, putting one foot in front of the other when it hurt so damn much to even stand up. She could feel bad for herself or she could pull on her big girl panties and take that step and every single one of them afterwards. Learning to walk again had been a nightmare but she was alive to feel that pain and then it hurt less and less and she got further away from the start. Walking out of that hospital had been one of the best damn days of her life and she would never take another thing for granted again.

Kaiden loved being able to live on her own again, have a job she loved and be able to go out and have a couple drinks with her friends. Too much of her time had been spent wondering if she would ever get the chance to do any of that ever again. The first time she'd been able to walk into a bar to meet up with her friends saw tears in her eyes. She hadn't quite ruined her makeup but it had come close, she was sure of it. And of course she'd dressed up in a pretty dress with glittery flats since she couldn't wear heels anymore and she'd had that first outrageous cane delivered earlier that day so she'd rocked up with what appeared to be a lightsaber gripped tightly in her hand. "Joey! Did you bring a date?" She asked, perking up to tease her friend. Kaiden didn't know about Joey but she hadn't really been in a place were dating was something she wanted to do. Dating meant explaining and that was such a bother "Better order the first and second rounds now so I can meet this mystery man of yours!"

Tag || joey macey rayne carter & angel quentin boyce
Words || 837
Clothes || Blonde Beauty
Music || Rewrite This Story --SMASH Cast
Notes || <3!

[joey macey rayne carter]

Joey couldn’t see her life without helping others. She didn’t see anything in risking her life for someone else’s. There was no hesitation, no fear, and she didn’t worry about what might become of her. She knew she’d be missed if the worst happened, but if it wasn’t her then it would be another soul lost, and another family forced through the grief and torment of losing their child. Joey couldn’t walk away from a life of serving when she knew she was physically able of risking her life for others. It wasn’t in her nature to leave the hard work to another person. She had shouldered risks and burdens when she was in the military and she would continue to do so now as a proud member of the FDNY. Joey might have had an easier transition back to civilian life than some veterans, but she often felt like the switch to firefighter had played a key role in that. There were times when it felt like she was still serving. There were still plenty of moments of danger, panic in which she needed to stay calm and keep a level head about herself. The intensity of the job was very similar to what she was used to while at the same time being totally different.

Joey didn’t know if she would ever be able to relax and live what most would call a normal life. She was alert even when she was at home in her cosy apartment. Sounds of locks in the night often had her checking to see neighbours weren’t being burglarised, and sirens in the city sometimes made her wonder if she ought to check in on the fire department to see if they needed any extra hands. She knew they were as understaffed as they were over budget and it was ludicrous to think they could continue to operate like that.

Joey was thrilled to see Kaiden perk up at the mention of another guest joining them. She wasn’t sure, however, how thrilled she would be to know the true agenda of the night when it came to Joey’s guest of honour. The lithe firefighter chuckled, shaking her head as she pushed herself out of their booth and stood up. “Not quite. I brought a guy you might find yourself interested in.” Joey smirked, throwing her friend a playful wink. It was intended as a harmless adventure. If Angel and Kaiden hit it off then that was fantastic because Joey thought they could both use a reason to smile more. If not, well, then it would be a shame but three grown adults would have had drinks together. No real harm could come from it. “Now, what are you drinking?” Joey was fishing the money from her bag and already moving towards the bar before Kaiden could find anything to argue with about her grand plan for this evening. If she didn’t like it she only had to stay for a few drinks - and Joey was buying!

• • •

TAGGED! Kaiden Radley Moriarty & angel quentin boyce
WORDS! 508!
OUTFIT! Captain Cupid!
LYRICS! Superman - - - IM5
NOTES!

[Kaiden Radley Moriarty]

When Kaiden first woke up and found out what her life was going to be like, she'd gone down a bit of a dark path. She had needed to hit rock bottom before she could build herself back up again. Looking back, it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been. She could have become an addict to the pain medications they'd been giving her, she could have drowned herself in a bottle but she hadn't. Instead, she'd wallowed a little bit, which was the real reason those pitying looks irritated her so much. She'd given herself her little pity party when she'd been told she might not ever walk again and then decided she'd had enough. She was not going to sit the rest of her life in a wheelchair being pushed around or sidestepped and ignored. She had feeling in her legs, she had the abilities to get there, she just needed to teach herself how to walk again. It was humbling, to have to learn something that was second nature her entire life but she was a fighter.

She was going to build herself a new life and be happy with the fact that she was still alive; not many made it out. It wasn't a big deal for Kaiden to have switched careers, she'd been planning on eventually leaving the army. So it would have come around eventually. What she hadn't been expecting was the new accessories she needed to always keep on hand but even she had to admit, there were some pretty epic artists out there willing to make her vision reality. And she had friends who kept her focused on the good things. She didn't know what she would do without them. With everything seemingly going right in her life, Kaiden was happy with where she was. She might have a twinge of pain here and there but it was a small price to pay for her life being extended by who knows how long.

Kaiden wouldn't lie, the idea of Joey bringing someone for her to meet made her hesitant. She wasn't unattractive but she felt like the outside world saw her as something less because she had a noticeable limp and needed a cane to walk further than fifty feet. She didn't see it as a hindrance, she enjoyed being able to work with a artists to create clever canes to use. They were just another accessory for her, one that she could have fun with. But she did get looks and stares and all that pity drove her crazy. That wasn't to say whoever Joey invited would react the same as everyone else who saw Kaiden; especially when they meet her sitting down. The shock and stares always seemed so much worse when she had to say goodbye and get up. It took her an extra minute or two, depending on which cane she'd brought along with her to actually leave and those could be the longest minutes of her life with those looks. "The usual, a nice, cold beer should do." She said with a grin, though wasn't nearly as bright as before. She was nervous, something she did not care for and hoped the feeling would go away.

♦ ♦ ♦

Tag || joey macey rayne carter , angel quentin boyce
Words || 541
Clothes || Blonde Beauty
Music || Rewrite This Story --SMASH Cast
Notes || Sorry, she was being really difficult... <3

[angel quentin boyce]

Angel wasn’t always the friendliest of people. He didn’t mean to come across as rude or distant, but there were just days when he wasn’t in the mood for company. People liked to talk about themselves – it was something he didn’t hold against them one bit – but Angel wasn’t one for shooting the breeze all that often. His attempts at a family had been pretty abysmal, from his father to his failed marriage. He didn’t think he was worthy of sainthood by any account, but he didn’t think he deserved a spot in the deepest pit of hell either. He had made mistakes and he had owned up to them. Angel just didn’t enjoy sitting around while people shared photos of their happy families and chatted non-stop about vacation plans and trips to see relatives they hadn’t seen in years. It was a world he didn’t live in and he couldn’t connect to it no matter how he tried. Give him work as a conversational topic, or cars, or sports he barely even watched and he was more comfortable.

Joey seemed to talk him into coming out for drinks though. He knew she had been in the military and maybe that was how she always knew how to avoid those topics that unnerved him. She had a way of just knowing when a conversation was about to take an awkward turn and she was always quick to change it. That was why he never had to hesitate when she invited him for drinks or a late night dinner of something so greasy and unhealthy it could only be found in a city like New York. There were dishes here that honestly would send his mother to an early grave if she only heard about them, let alone saw or tasted them. Angel might not have grown up on the healthiest of all diets, but there was a difference between what his mother cooked and what New York offered after midnight.

Freshly showered and changed, Angel left his apartment with his hair barely dry. Probably not the best of choices, he realised, when the cold air nipped at his fingers, forcing him to shove them into his jacket pocket. He chose to walk to the bar, sending Joey a text message to let her know that he was on his way. He didn’t like leaving people waiting too long without some kind of communication. It wouldn’t take him too long to get to the bar, which is why he had no problem travelling on foot through the crowds of fellow pedestrians. New York was an odd place for Angel to call home since it was nothing like Keller, but he supposed he was just another outcast in the city who was searching for a place to belong.

Even his pockets couldn’t save his hands from the cold by the time he reached Planet Hollywood. He was rubbing them together once he stepped into the heat blasting from the air con. He smiled politely at the hostess, but declined her service, and began to scan the room for Joey. She didn’t stand out like some army veterans might do, or like the firefighter she was. It took him a few minutes before his eyes settled on her, noticing that she wasn’t alone. He was a little less than thrilled since his social skills with strangers weren’t all that great. He didn’t know what they were going to do or say, and that left him feeling anxious about what could happen. Angel wasn’t impolite though. He walked over to the booth and smiled. “Hey. Sorry I took so long.”

• • •

TAGGED! Kaiden Radley Moriarty
WORDS! 608!
LYRICS! Antidote - - - Marie Faith
NOTES!