Delicate Heart • •

[teegan jubilee sanderson]

Teegan met with her parents every two weeks for dinner. They would have liked to see her more, but she convinced them that she was too busy. She buried herself in her skating regime and pushed herself harder than anyone else she knew in the sport. Her trainer constantly told her she didn't need the extra hours on the ice or in the dance studio, but Teegan put the time in anyway. It was her way of having control and burying the grief. Plus, these dinners always ended up with her mom or dad asking about college, if she had plans to enrol come the summer. Teegan didn't want to sit in a classroom and listen to a professor. She only wanted to be on the ice. That was all she got out of bed for in the mornings. When she didn't have that – for whatever reason – she lost her control and went off the rails. Waking up in strange places with a head that felt like lead was not the healthiest way for a nineteen year old to live her life.

She met her parents at WD-50 after spending her morning with her trainer down at the rink, and putting the hours in at the ballet studio during the afternoon. Teegan had only stopped to shower and change, leaving her sports bag at her apartment before she came to meet them. She knew this meal would be awkward enough without it starting off that way. They'd pick a fight the moment they saw her if she came lugging sports equipment behind her. She ordered a soda and lime whilst she waited, not at all keen on flashing her pristine fake ID in front of her overprotective parents. The fact that they paid to let her live alone was one thing, but they had no idea of the life Teegan lived while their backs were turned. As far as she was concerned they would never know about the parties, or the reckless behaviour she got up to while she was out long past the midnight hour. She sat opposite them, as usual, making small talk but really having very little to say to them. She was deliberately playing the part of the sulky teenager, just because she could. Teegan had learned that they asked very little when she did that. It was just the way she liked it.

They hadn't made it to dessert though before the conversation took a sour turn. Her mother, still determined to see her daughter with letters after her name, brought up schools, talking about how there was plenty of time to apply. Teegan shot each one down with a simple no, but then her mother, in desperation, mentioned Jess. It was the breaking point. If there was one thing no one could mention to Teegan it was the name of her best friend who had died. Teegan had never properly grieved for her, and was still angry about how Jessica's life had been cut tragically short. Jumping up, Teegan glared at her mother. "You don't get to talk about her like that. Just drop it! I'm not going to college, and I'm not going to be some perfect little girl again!" She stormed off after that, knowing that sticking around would only lead to more trouble. Teegan found herself in a side alley by WD-50. She kicked at a dumpster and yelled angrily before sinking down the side of it. She didn't care about getting dirty, or that there was a chill in the evening air. She was just pissed off.

• • •

TAGGED! Vaughn Robert Cooper
WORDS! 621!
OUTFIT! Funky Firecracker!
LYRICS! Little Hell - - City and Colour
NOTES! <3 <3 <3

[Vaughn Robert Cooper]

The real reason Vaughn got the job at the diner was out of pure boredom. Plain and simple. He'd been sitting around, twirling his thumbs. Finished all his assignments and having nothing to do. Coop hadn't been around at that point, she'd already gone on her journey of self discovery or whatever bullshit line she wanted to hand out. He loved his sister but the line she had tried to feed him just hadn't made sense when she'd tried to feed it to him. Still, he had figured it was something important to her so he'd said his goodbyes, demanded novelty gifts and postcards from her stops, but didn't expect them from everywhere. He did know his sister after all. And all that left him mostly alone. Jay had her life which revolved around photography, either at the studio, her apartment or on campus so she wasn't always around, though they did have their movie nights and they were fun but they were only a night or two a week. Vaughn had needed something more and found himself a job to take up the time he had left over that had been leaving him bored out of his mind. The first couple of years at school had been brutal but that was more because Vaughn hated what he was doing.

If he could change it without having to explain it, he would have before he ever agreed to Law in the first place. It was not his choice, nor was it anything he would have picked if given options. But he didn't want to go through all the years of training to become a doctor, and numbers made his eyes cross and everything else was useless to his grandparents, who were funding his college education. So he'd really had no choice. At least with this particular degree, he would be able to get himself out of late night jams a little easier. In that way, his courses were already paying for themselves. Lucky for him there were other things he could do with a law degree. His shift was nearly over at the diner and then he could get back to the paper he was supposed to hand in before midnight. He always left it for the last minute because really, what was the point in having all the teacher's think he actually liked his classes!

At least the diner was usually pretty quiet and he spent most of his time chatting away with the customers who liked to chat or hiding in the back making himself look like he was doing something important. He wasn't exactly fond of people, but he liked the group at the diner well enough. They were a good group to hang out with after hours, grabbing a drink at the bar. He'd been meaning to drag Jay and Coop out one night but they had lives without him and that usually meant they were together somewhere where the music thrummed so loud, you were left near deaf when you finally emerged from the strobe lighted building. Vaughn was leaning just on the kitchen side of the door, chatting with the guys in the back, talking about a couple of the more fetching ladies out in the diner with their friends when all hell seemed to have broken loose out there, leaving Vaughn and Ulysses pushing their heads out the door and the window as discreetly as possible to see what was going on. But whatever it was, was over before it even really began and left Vaughn just as bored as he'd been before. He was waiting on an order when Chuck asked him to toss the trash out in the dumpster, to make himself useful. He pushed his way outside and threw the black bag into the green dumpster before spotting the girl from inside. "That was some row you had back there." He said, leaning against the wall beside her.

Tag || teegan jubilee sanderson
Words || 658
Clothes || Wary Waitor
Music || Right Here, Right Now --Maddie & Tae
Notes || <3!

[teegan jubilee sanderson]

Ice skating always figured into Teegan’s future, but not like the way it currently did. The competitions, the training, yes, but Teegan didn’t push herself to the point of exhaustion until after Jessica’s death. It was avoidance, she had heard her dad tell her mom, but Teegan refused to buy into it. She wasn’t avoiding anything. Jess was gone and she was alive. All she had left in the world was her skating and no one was going to take that away from her. There was nothing else Teegan wanted out of life but to be on the ice and to move to the music. She didn’t want a fancy job, a profession that would earn her enough to take early retirement, no, she wanted to compete at the top level. She wanted to travel the world with her ice skates, to be in the Olympics and to be a name people recognised as one of the bests. Her trainer said she was close, said people had approached with an interest, but she was worried that Teegan would go overboard and push too hard; it was a trait they didn’t want no matter how good she was on competition day.

Outside, as she sat beside the dumpster, Teegan tried to cool off. Her temper could be ferocious since Jessica’s death, but she wasn’t the type to do anything more than shout and maybe kick something she couldn’t hurt. Most of the time her anger came out in tears when she was alone, but right now only one tear escaped. She quickly wiped it away before it could be the start of a total meltdown. She needed to blow off some steam, maybe slip into something skin tight and use her fake ID to get a bottle of champagne. Dancing with a stranger, forgetting her own name…it all sounded absolutely perfect right then and she wanted to run off home right then to get ready. She didn’t trust her parents though. They could be leaving any minute and she didn’t want to bump into them and face round two or risk the tears she had fought back coming round again.

The door, footsteps and then the voice caught her attention and she looked up at the cute waiter from inside. Teegan didn’t care so much that she had caused a scene back there; she had probably done worse before now. “Yeah, well, parents can be a pain in the ass.” She grumbled, staying in her spot and pulling her knees up to her chest. She wasn’t one for sharing her problems with a stranger, but she wasn’t a total bitch either. If someone spoke to her she’d speak back; it was up to them if they liked her replies. Teegan could be fairly blunt and critical most of the time, even on a good day when she didn’t want to get drunk and take home a guy who seemed like he could be a fun time. Teegan let herself look back up at the attractive waiter and chewed on her lip. “Do you always hang out in the alley after you’ve chucked away the trash, or is this a special moment?” She asked, a touch of dryness to her voice. She didn’t necessarily want to be alone, but awkward silences annoyed her.

• • •

TAGGED! Vaughn Robert Cooper
WORDS! 555!
OUTFIT! Funky Firecracker!
LYRICS! Little Hell - - City and Colour
NOTES! <3 <3 <3

[Vaughn Robert Cooper]

Growing up Vaughn had gotten into his fair share of trouble but he almost always got away with it. As a kid, he thought that was pretty damn great until he realised and rather quickly that Coop was the one getting blamed for a handful of his shenanigans. And Vaughn couldn't have that. So he got a hell of a lot better at hiding what he was doing and things became a lot easier to deal with. Of course when your life revolved around boarding school and home for the holidays, it was pretty easy to get away with everything you wanted to. Vaughn had lost count how many times he'd helped his twin out and vice versa. They were very good at covering for each other; most of the time. If they had been that good at it, they never would have gotten caught and there were a few transgressions attached to both of their names. Of course it had never stopped them. New school, new faces, new places to explore which all meant new reasons to slip away for a few hours.

The move to New York was the first time Vaughn had felt like he could breathe. His sister was the one who didn't care and he loved her more for it. He had been a rebel just as much but he'd been quieter about his escapades. It hadn't gotten him anywhere, he caused a scene when he needed to and shrugged it off easily enough with a line or two about picking the wrong friends and then off they'd been again to a new place to start all over again. In the city, he didn't have to worry about his grandparents catching him in some "nefarious" plot with some two-bit gold digging nobody; though they would have said something a little bit classier whilst they looked down their noses. On the other side of the planet it was safe to do as he pleased and damn if he didn't do whatever the hell he wanted. And on the rare occasion he did get caught, which as many years as he'd been in the city had been once so far, he talked his way out of it with perfect cluelessness and a charming accent.

It was also how he'd managed to talk his way into the job he was currently standing outside of; at least, the accent part. Girls went crazy over an English accent and his was as prim as proper as all those romantic films American women fell over themselves for. It certainly helped him, especially on a night out. He had no troubles picking up when he wanted to and he used the skill often enough. Vaughn smirked and nodded his head. "I definitely get that." He said, running his hand through his hair. His father was MIA, his mother was a mess, he was raised by uncaring or too caring grandparents, depending on which way you looked at it. He absolutely understood where this girl was coming from. Vaughn took a moment to lean against the wall, cross his legs at his ankles and adopt a thoughtful expression. "Oh, I love spending every spare second I can get in this alley." He told her with the most serious tone of voice that he could adopt for a ludicrous question. "Over there next to that bin, I stumbled across a rather handsy couple exploring their voyeuristic side, and over there was Earl's box, we used to bring him out plates of food but the shelter offered him a room in exchange of counselling the younger homeless. He still visits but now he sits inside. And right here is where I met this wonderfully sarcastic young woman who has some serious issues with either authority in general or just her parents, my sister is the shrink between us, not me so I'm not fussy either way the answer. Do you spend much time hiding away in alley's?" He asked, raising an eyebrow towards his hairline.

♦ ♦ ♦

Tag || teegan jubilee sanderson
Words || 670
Clothes || Wary Waitor
Music || Right Here, Right Now --Maddie & Tae
Notes || <3

[teegan jubilee sanderson]

When Jess was alive there hadn’t been any trouble; at least not the type that could cause alarm. As teenagers in high school they had been prone to cutting class once or twice and sneaking to a party they knew they shouldn’t be at, but it was never dangerous. Now, Teegan felt like she didn’t care so much about what happened to her. She fell in with the company of strangers in secluded corners of nightclubs, flashed her fake ID and drank until the world span and she threw up. She did so many things that could easily see her ruin her young career and maybe even her life. New York could be dangerous, but she wanted that danger. Her grief made her crave it as much as her sober self craved the rink. It was like living two very different, but equally punishing lives. Teegan was only nineteen, but her world was darker than most ever had a chance to see it.

Skating gave her a purpose though. It pushed her through on the days when she woke up still dressed for the night before, or in a place that wasn’t hers. Thankfully, someone in the universe felt kind to her, and her hangovers were not insufferable. A bottle of water and a painkiller and she was good thirty minutes later; at least good enough to push through a day of training before collapsing into her bed to sleep off her exhaustion. That was bearable for her. She could party and skate for two days and then sleep for twelve hours straight and call it a recovery. It probably wasn’t healthy, but then she would work hard and focus on her skating for a few days before she did it again. No one knew she had that wild side, the side that needed to lose herself in a club, that fell into the arms of a stranger if she felt lonely, and who drank until she was ready to pass out whenever she went out, sometimes just choosing to have a bottle of champagne just for herself because she could.

Her parents cared. They weren’t cruel or unsupportive, but they wanted her to do something more than skate. Teegan didn’t agree. It was her passion and her dream, and she couldn’t put it second to go and study something else. They couldn’t understand that, and pushing the matter pushed Teegan further to the edge and away from them. She gave this guy a dry look when he spoke. Her question had been sarcastic, her tone almost uninviting and yet he was still there, talking like she had been genuinely curious about his damn life. Flicking her hair back over her shoulder, she shrugged casually and then flicked her eyes up to meet his. “Usually I’m pressed up against the brick with my legs around someone’s waist.” She answered, gauging his reaction. “Biting, not hiding.” She added, just for fun. None of it was really true. She might have acted like she didn’t care, but Teegan still had a level of dignity she wasn’t willing to let go of. She’d do a lot without giving a damn, but there was a line.

• • •

TAGGED! Vaughn Robert Cooper
WORDS! 537!
OUTFIT! Funky Firecracker!
LYRICS! Little Hell - - City and Colour
NOTES! <3 <3 <3

[Vaughn Robert Cooper]

Vaughn should have been more traumatised from his childhood but he'd know that Coop was the more rebellious one of them, she was the one that needed to run, to experience and he was the one that needed to cover for her. He understood that, had always known that was how they worked. He covered, she ran. He lied, smiled and did as he was told because if he did, Coop wouldn't have so many demands of her. Sure, they'd have the usual ones, be a polite girl, date the right boy, get married and have all the babies. It wouldn't mean shit to his sister but those were also all the things they could ask for that she could ignore. In Vaughn's mind, he was doing all this for his twin, because she needed to be free and he wasn't all that bothered by his grandparents demanding so much from him. He rebelled in more subtle ways and it worked for him. There would be a day in the near enough future when he would be making his own money and could tell his grandparents to go fuck themselves in the most blunt way possible. He figured at the end of that conversation, someone would be wheeled out after having suffered a heart attack.

He'd always been the good one so it would be a total shock and something Vaughn would take great pleasure in being the reason behind it. Until then, he would smile and answer the phone calls when they came through, lie like the stereotypical bearskin rug in a cabin in the woods and then take a shot of whatever was handy once he ended the call. It wasn't the healthiest way to deal with the stress but it got the job done and then it was over for another week. If they didn't call, Vaughn was quite pleased to live the life he wanted for himself once he was out from under his grandparent's thumb. They thought that because they were footing the bill, they had a say in where he worked, what courses he took, what his major was. He lied and told them he worked a decent job in a high end retail shop because that would be more acceptable than the bussing tables that he really did. He was doing pre-law, with his sights already set on Columbia because it intrigued him and it was something that appeased the snooty old people he called family. Once they realised he wouldn't be going into Business Law or whatever they would expect, he figured they'd have something to say but Vaughn was a brilliant man and already had his speech prepared; years in advance. Of course, it was the same speech every time, just switching out this word for that one, replace that with the other and nod and smile and force them to see his way of things by making them believe it was their idea in the first place. Vaughn was very good at manipulating his grandparents, a skill his sister never took the time to perfect.

"Always a good time. I much prefer biting to hiding. Brings a sense of adventure to an already adrenaline rushing experience." He said with no hint of sarcasm or teasing. This particular alley was best used, by him, as a place to hide for his break so no one asks him to work through his break. It had happened before and he was sure it would happen again if he was within eyesight. But there were other alleys in the city that he was not at all ashamed to admit, were used for other ventures. It wasn't always possible to take a girl home with him and it wasn't always an option to go home with the woman he'd been flirting with all night. Things happened in the heat of the moment, things he wouldn't share but that was that. He would never regret or be ashamed of it but he also didn't want to listen to his sister or her best friend tease him about it all for the rest of their days. He could live without that.

♦ ♦ ♦

Tag || teegan jubilee sanderson
Words || 694
Music || Right Here, Right Now --Maddie & Tae
Notes || <3

[teegan jubilee sanderson]

In many ways, Jess had been Teegan’s soulmate. The pair weren’t in love, but they were closer than anyone else. Jess was the type of best friend who knew exactly what Tee was thinking when she was thinking it. She knew when to call, when to just be there in silence while the brunette brooded over her teenage problems. It was the type of friendship that TV shows and movies painted as being picture perfect. The only difference was that what they had was reality. Teegan knew she could call Jess any time of the night or day when she needed her. Hell, even their parents understood that the girls were as good as sisters. Losing Jess was like losing a part of herself, something even more vital than an arm or a leg. Hell, she would give up an organ just for another hour with Jess.

Wishing on stars was for fools. Teegan had learnt that when her heart hardened and she stopped feeling anything but the abyss of emptiness and anger. She was living her life in a reckless manner in the hopes of feeling something again. She just wanted the empty pit inside to be plugged shut – with anything. Booze only temporarily blocked it off, and the warmth of another human being only sparked at something deep down, buried inside beneath the darkness. There was no way for Teegan to claw it free, not with one night stands and guys she didn’t remember the names of. Opening up was too much though. It was far too painful. The wound was raw, still festering through the healing process. It gaped wiped and bled frequently. Teegan wasn’t ready to share that with anyone. It was easier to hide behind her wall of ice, keep her tongue as sharp as the blade of her skates, and just push on until she couldn’t any more. There was no easy way out of her grief, and she wasn’t ready to face up to that fact. She just wanted to try and hide in the memories, in the plans they had made about growing up and growing old together.

Teegan assessed the man standing before her. She enjoyed the surprise of his response, but didn’t let it show too much on her face. There was still a dance to perform here, a routine to work out before she could make any rash decisions. “What else were New York alleys made for?” She asked with just a hint of a wicked smile. She had unhealthy habits for handling her anger, but with no one to care enough to show her differently – or more specifically no one who was strong enough to crack through her stubbornness. She was fearsome for such a small, slender thing. Her personality was far from the elegant form she portrayed on the ice when she competed. “If only they could talk to us about what they’ve seen. Such sordid little tales, don’t you think?” She stepped just a tiny bit closer, her dark eyes flashing with suggestion and devilish delight. She needed to burn through her energy and common sense was not prevailing right now.

• • •

TAGGED! Vaughn Robert Cooper
WORDS! 529!
OUTFIT! Funky Firecracker!
LYRICS! Little Hell - - City and Colour
NOTES! <3 <3 <3