Post by Tennessee Rachel Cooper on Apr 5, 2020 11:42:37 GMT -5
Coop wasn’t as stupid as she was currently pretending to be. She knew what was happening to her, and she was beyond worrying about an if or a maybe. And yet, she thought if she kept ignoring it, stayed in her little bubble of denial that maybe she wouldn’t have to acknowledge it or deal with it. She couldn’t believe she was acting so silly, but facing the truth seemed even more ridiculous. She had spent the majority of her life choosing to stay closed off from people. She hadn’t wanted to get close to Travis. She hadn’t wanted him to be anything more than a fling. And yet he had burrowed his way under her skin in a manner she was not at all comfortable with recognising. She hated waking up curled against him. She hated that she slept so soundlessly by his side. None of that was supposed to happen. She wasn’t supposed to care if he messaged her back, or smile if he picked up one of her favourites on the way home. Hell, she wasn’t even supposed to be in his apartment as much as she was. At first it had been because Annabelle had “dropped by” for one of her unplanned visits. Coop disliked spending time with her mother, so hiding in a place she couldn’t pry directions to was a wonderful thing. She had started being sick around that time, calling it a serious case of stomach flu and skipping work and class to stay curled on the sofa. After Annabelle returned to England, Coop was doing all that she could to avoid everyone else who may ask questions or make remarks about her new behaviour. So, staying with Travis kept Jay and Vaughn away.
In the beginning it was just throwing up here and there. Then she couldn’t stomach the smell of her favourite coffee. Now, her jeans were too tight to even spend a few hours in. She was wearing leggings and loose dresses that she usually kept for summer vacations as something to throw over her bikini. Her head was hurting this afternoon, too, but she thought that might be the one symptom unrelated to her current condition. She wasn’t going to put a name to it. She wasn’t ready for that. There had been no tests, no doctor visits, and she distracted Travis from bringing it up by either trying to cause a fight, or by deciding to leave and take the dogs for a walk. Coop wasn’t ready to face the reality of everything. She had never wanted to be in this position, never thought she would actually end up here. If anyone confirmed it then it was real – really real. As a psychology student she knew it was all irrational behaviour designed to be a coping mechanism, but for once Cooper was happy to accept that crutch and hold onto it for as long as was reasonable.
Coop was laying on the couch – hands anywhere but her stomach – watching an old western movie on the television. She wasn’t really focused on it, but it was the one thing she could guarantee wasn’t going to trigger an anxiety attack. Horses and the gun slinging men riding them didn’t mention children, or babies. It was safe viewing for someone who felt exhausted and knew her own mind was to blame for it. She heard the keys in the door which triggered the dogs to run towards it, but Coop didn’t lift her head from the cushion. At least, she didn’t at first, but then Travis called her name and she had no choice but to acknowledge the man. “Yes, I ate the last of the pasta, so what?” She sighed, lifting herself up and grimacing as stomach flipped. Coop couldn’t remember the last time her stomach had been happy about the food she gave it.
• • •
TAGGED! Travis Mason Merrick
WORDS! 647!
LYRICS! I was an Island - - - Alison Weiss
NOTES! <3
