• •Nothing to Lose

[damien royce malone]

He had a son. That information was a lot to process for Damien. He hadn’t really thought about children. At one point he was far too young to wonder about sons or daughters, then he had the accident and every thought he had needed to be about himself and his recovery. Following that he had been inside, wondering more about what the fuck he was going to do with his life upon his release. Ever since then it had been about bettering himself, making himself look like a person who could be trusted, who could be a somewhat respected member of society. Damien would never be the churchgoing, suit wearing type, but he wanted to have something to offer for charitable events, even if it was just a free oil check. Right now, with things still relatively new, Damien couldn’t afford to lose money on polite ventures. Calypso was the first person (besides his brother who technically owned the place) who would be getting something for free. Even family and friends of the employees only received a modest discount. At no point did Damien think children would make an appearance in his life right now. He figured if he was ever a father – and it was a big if – that it would come one day in the far future.

Even love and romance were also things he rarely thought about – at least not positively. He was a broken, scarred man with a criminal record; hardly the man anyone would like to take home to meet the folks. There were days when he could barely get out of bed because he had slept funny on damaged muscles. Other times he mis-stepped and his leg gave out beneath him. He wasn’t the guy who could go dancing, or hiking without there being some kind of clumsy accident. No one wanted damaged goods, or ones that came with a probation officer calling in randomly, without warning. Damien could only blame himself for the latter; the former was the work of cruel deities who messed with humans like they were puppets in a macabre story.

He was someone’s father. That thought echoed in his mind over and over as he popped the hood and delved into the engine. Thankfully, he knew cars like the back of his hand, otherwise he would have missed everything and had to start all over again. Some people could play music without thinking, but Damien could do the same with a car engine. He could disassemble and reassemble while going over a prepared court speech, or while he was on the phone with his brother, reassuring him that everything was going well. Occasionally, Shaun checked in on him, asking about the low numbers. Damien knew it was more concern for him than the business, hoping nothing was about to lead Damien down another unlawful path. Thankfully, numbers were low when he had ordered things in or right after the mechanics had been paid. It was all normal, standard, and he was left with no real struggles besides the day to day aches in his leg after working too long.

Damien wished he could distract himself with the car, but too many things were running through his head. This wasn’t easy to process for him, not in the slightest. At least the car could delay the conversation he knew Calypso was going to want to have with him. He found the problem fairly quickly, since it wasn’t an uncommon issue. Wiping his hands on a grease rag he made his way back to office, feeling sick with every step he took. Silently, he kept reminding himself to focus on the car, to think of nothing but the car. He leaned against the wall, a little further away from Calypso than he might have stood ordinarily. “Found the problem. Your alternator is, well, basically fucked.” He couldn’t recall if he told her to keep an eye on it when he fixed her car those few years ago. He couldn’t recall much right then, his mind too busy trying to remain distracted while also appearing normal for the guys wandering around the garage. “It’s going to take me a few hours to replace it.” He’d already checked to see if they had an alternator hanging around, and they did, but it wasn’t brand spanking new. “I’ve got one in. It’s a remanufactured one, but it’ll do the job.” Some people came and demanding brand new parts, thinking anything remanufactured would break halfway up the road. Damien didn’t try to change their minds when they had that sort of attitude. It was their own money they wasted.

• • •

TAGGED! Calypso Peyton Payne
WORDS! 780!
LYRICS! For The Keeping - - - Wayward Daughter
NOTES! <3 <3 <3

[Calypso Peyton Payne]

Calypso had appreciated the young kid giving her the internet password. At least while Damien was looking over the car, and working through the news that he was a father, she could send her work off to her boss without any more delay. She didn't know how much longer she would be there for and these final touches just couldn't wait any longer. She needed to work to get her mind off the fact that she'd blindsided Damien with the news of their son. She'd had a long time to come to terms that a one-night stand had resulted in a new life. Soren was everything to Calypso and wanted Damien to feel the same way. But she understood that she'd had a lot of time with Soren and coming to terms with his existence. Damien hadn't been so lucky and she'd sprung the news on him in a way that could have been handled better. In a perfect world, none of this would have happened. But in the next best thing, she would have told him as they sat at a coffee shop or something, not in the cab of a tow truck while he still had the rest of his workday to deal with and a business to run. Caly just had to correct any changes her boss asked and send her work in again and take care of Soren so her sister could go out into the world and have her own life. She'd already been doing as much since he'd been born.

When her phone rang, she was expecting her boss, letting her know what, if anything, needed to be adjusted but it was Esmerelda ringing her up. She looked out the little window into the shop and saw that Damien didn't look to be ready to talk to her just yet so she answered the call instead of dismissing it and sending a text. She had to explain what was going on and whose garage she'd stumbled on. That wasn't so fun to try and avoid talking about because the walls were thin and that kid hadn't left his post at the front desk, despite Calypso being the only one in the shop at the minute. She offered up a compromise of keeping her mouth shut now while she could be overheard and telling her all about the fun adventure she didn't have when she got home. As soon as Damien returned with information about the car, she would order an Uber or something and be on her merry way because she wasn't sure she could spend any more time in the uncomfortable chairs that seemed to be required in garages and doctor's offices. She didn't want to go on a mental tangent about hard chairs so she shook her head and told her sister that she would be home as soon as she heard was what going on with the car.

If she needed to start looking for a new one, then so be it. There were plenty of savings now, she was looking to get a decent mortgage and buy a house but she didn't actually mind their current living situation. She could afford to upgrade the car if need be. She didn't want to but that was more sentimentality than anything else. Caly loved that car, had so many fond memories, she really didn't want to part with it but ultimately, it was just a car. Finally, her sister ended the call and Caly started looking up good family cars, just in case. She hadn't noticed when Damien actually came in but her head snapped up when he started talking to her. Her heart plummeted thinking this was the end but she did breathe a sigh of relief when he said he could fix it. Surely the cost of repairing the car was cheaper than having to buy a whole new one, which she knew she would have to do eventually. Like before Soren started driving! "Okay, great." She said, relief in her voice. However now she felt a bit awkward. Under normal circumstances, she would be going into this like any other business deal but it was Damien and this would not be a one-time interaction. Huffing out a breath and rolling her eyes, Calypso decided to man up a little better than she'd done when she told Damien about his son. "Right, do you want to talk cost before or after the work's done and are you able to drop it off or do you want me to pick it up? I haven't moved." She asked, once again rushing through it but at least this time she did it in one go and kept eye contact.

♦ ♦ ♦

TAG; damien royce malone
WORDS; 786
LYRICS; Waiting On You --Lindsay Ell
NOTES; <3

[damien royce malone]

Damien had never given much thought to fatherhood, to family life. His own childhood had been a volatile affair and had his ninth grade science teacher not stepped up and sorted him out his high school graduation may never have happened. He had been on the road to trouble, but in the end sort of wound up teetering at the crossroads for a little while. He didn’t have the type of parents who made him dream of his own children, carrying on traditions that had been forged when he was just a boy. Hell, the only tradition they had was screaming while the kids slammed doors to get out. It was not something he thought anyone wanted for their own future.

And then there had been the accident. After that he hadn’t made it a priority to go on dates or meet the right woman. He had been in hospital for so long, and then physiotherapy for even longer. Damien didn’t want someone to think that he needed them. He didn’t want to be reliant on another person, even if it was just temporarily while he adjusted to what his life had become. Even now he wasn’t throwing himself back in the romance game. He had flirted once or twice, but since he was doing his best to build something out of the wreckage of his past, he was focusing most of his time on avoiding people who could land him in trouble and on keeping the business steady. Damien was positive he didn’t want to end up back in front of a judge, and he didn’t want to let his brother down either. With the way the band was starting to take off, any trouble Damien landed in would likely wind up with Shaun all over the tabloids.

Talking to Calypso left knots in his stomach, and for a moment he felt like he had the tracheotomy tightening his throat again. It was an uncomfortable feeling to say the least, and swallowing didn’t help too much either. He blinked, taking a second longer than normal to digest what she had said to him. He hadn’t felt this unsure of words since his time in court. “Don’t worry. This one is on me.” He probably owed the cost of the repair as a minimum in child support. How did that sort of thing work, anyway? Did he need to arrange something with Calypso or did it go through a government agency? There was a lot he didn’t know simply because he had never needed to know it. It was a little overwhelming if he was honest, and he didn’t quite know where to begin with it. “Uh, whatever is easiest for you?” He hadn’t been back to that apartment building since he was evicted post arrest. And, given this new information he’d had for less than an hour, he wasn’t sure it would be so easy to go back there. Damien had wanted to keep his past in the past, but he supposed things always had a way of coming back around. He just wasn’t sure how he could handle it. Of all the things he had dreamt creeping out of his history, a woman and a son were not in the top ten.

• • •

TAGGED! Calypso Peyton Payne
WORDS! 548!
LYRICS! For The Keeping - - - Wayward Daughter
NOTES! <3 <3 <3

[Calypso Peyton Payne]

Calypso hadn't complained once that trying to raise a baby alone was difficult. She knew there were women all over the world that were actually doing that with zero help. She had help and she had created a community where asking for help was encouraged. Her own mother drove up through the summer months basically to babysit and she has Esme around when she was available. Calypso was confident that if Damien never came back, she would be okay. And if he did, she wouldn't expect anything from him. She accepted having this baby knowing there was a huge chance she would be raising him, or her, on her own and she'd been more than willing to do that. Caly had been at a serious crossroads at her life when Soren had come into it and he had been the what she'd needed to make the changes she had. It had taken her little time at all to start making those changes and looking into what she could do because despite how much she actually liked her apartment, she couldn't stay there forever. It really was not the place to raise a child but it was where she needed to be until she could save enough to afford a place of her own.

Realistically, she could go out that day and put the money down on a house but she was picky and wanted to find one that didn't just speak to her but screamed how perfect it would be to raise a family in. She didn't know what life would throw her way but she knew she wanted her son to remember the fond memories of their home, playing in the backyard and sitting on the front porch as the children of the neighbourhood all played together. She had memories like that of her own childhood and she wanted them for Soren as well. She just wanted his memories to also include his father. She didn't remember her father much, having been fairly young when he'd been killed but Damien was still alive and as long as he wanted to be part of their son's life, she would allow it.

Calypso looked over at the kid behind the desk and glared at him as if that would make him leave. Oh well, she could be cryptic, she'd been talking in circles around a brilliant toddler for some time now. "Tell you what. You text me when it's done and if you want to say hi, drop it off. If you aren't ready, I'll come here to pick it up." She suggested. "I don't want you to feel pressured into it." And she didn't. She wanted Damien to be in Soren's life but only if it was good for him. She didn't want Soren to get attached only for Damien to feel overwhelmed and runoff. Caly didn't think he was the type of man to do that but things happened and Damien probably didn't see children in his cards. "Either way, we can talk then about everything that happened without potential eavesdroppers."

♦ ♦ ♦

TAG; damien royce malone
WORDS; 512
LYRICS; Waiting On You --Lindsay Ell
NOTES; <3